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I am not a bad driver. Honest.

I spent over six hours on the road yesterday. Six hours, in the which I was cut off, tailgated, flipped off and honked at, called 911 to report a poor frightened woman in a dead car in the middle of the freeway and in an hours time at one point on the freeway in the driving rain I did not break 5 miles per hour.

I did nothing wrong. Honestly, I didn't. I can just see vicus shaking his head and saying, "riiiight love. You're a woman driver, of course you did something wrong"

Wrong, actually I didn't. Despite what my teenagers say, I am a darned good driver.
It was pouring rain here as usual, and I was in the fast lane (lane on the left) going the speed limit or just a wee bit above and some neanderthal man behind me was so close to my bumper I thought we were going to be introduced in a fairly awful manner. He went around me, flashing his lights, honking his horn and then flipped me the universal sign of the bird.

Lest you continue to believe I was at fault, he did the very same thing to the driver in front of me, and the next driver and the next. By this time I was lamenting the fact that I'd not installed laser guided missiles to the front of my suburban in order to take care of people like that. Or at the very least, paintball guns mounted on my bumper.

What's your pet peeve about bad drivers? Care you share? And you'd better not say women drivers. That won't earn you any Pammy Points.


  1. Not indicating on roundabouts, not dipping headlights and not stopping for amber. London is dreadful for traffic light ill-discipline and the habit is spreading up here. Pammy, I like your paintball gun idea. Except I'd probably put marbles in instead of paintballs.

  2. Honestly? My biggest pet peeve is drivers who don't realize that the left lane is for PASSING and not for driving long distances in. You are supposed to move to the left lane to pass... then move back into the right or middle lane at your next opportunity.

    I'm so not saying to be mean or anything... it's just the way it is.

    I'm a woman driver... and I've been through extensive safe driver training.

  3. Serenity I agree with you. Left lanes are for passing, except when you're in bumper to bumper traffic and there is no where for you to go in the city. Such was the case with my situation. The man behind me was the worst kind of driver, and proved it by what he did not only to me, but to everyone else in extremely unsafe driving conditions.

  4. From the main road nearby my house, there is "No Right Turn" into my street. However, on an almost daily basis somebody will duck around onto the wrong side of the road, the other side of the traffic island, and hoon around that corner illegally. THAT is my pet peeve - because it always seems to happen as I'm crossing the street and I almost get hit!!!

  5. oh! kitties! I love kitties! kisses to kitties!

    Love your blog. I have been reading it for about a month now. Tommy turned me on to your talented musings! You go girl!

    I, myself, am an excellent driver. My response to the universal sign of the bird is usually to blow them a kiss, flash a peace sign, or just wave like I think I know them. Must stop that, could get shot!

    And just ask my husband, he will tell how good I am at back seat driving as well!

  6. Oh my goodness, here in Pitt there is about NOTHING good about drivers.

    Here my mantra, is "JUST FOLLOW THE LAWS!" They do weird things here, some based in niceness I admit that, but what is the point of coming to a complete stop (In front of ME) to let some one in that had you not stopped traffic could have easily pulled in in the huge gap that was right behind me? Now we have to go through the flashing light thing, and the inching forward thing, just to so that every one knows that you haven't stopped to make a left hand turn (or right) yourself, you've actually stopped (yourself and me and now all the cars piling up behind me) in a good samaritan effort to assist someone in turning. I mean I get in bumper to bumper traffic when there is no way that poor person is getting in unless someone stops, but all the freaking time???

    And (and and) it gets to the point where some drivers will not make the attempt to turn at an intersection unless someone stops and lets them in, and isn't that just fun to be behind.

    Here is the traffic safety manual, read it, learn it, use it. It's all of our friend.


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