Skip to main content

The Boy

Will Soon Be Graduating From High School

This means, in some small measure, I have successfully managed to get him through 12 years of school and to the age of 18 alive.

No small accomplishment, that.

Today he called for a ride home after he rode the bus most of the way to our house. As it was about 90 degrees outside, I obliged. I'm a good mom, plus it got me out of a very hot house and into the sweet deliciousness of my air conditioned vehicle.

My oldest and youngest daughters went along for the ride and they spotted The Boy before I did.

"What's up with his pants?"

Indeed. The operative word for his pants was up. He wears those extremely skinny jeans and he'd rolled them up to about knee level and he was walking towards us with a grimace on his face.

He was in pain. You see, five hours earlier, in the throes of near heat exhaustion, he rolled the legs of his pants up and then his legs swelled up. He was unable to remove his own pants or roll down what he'd rolled up.

I attempted, unsuccessfully, to stifle a giggle.

"Moooooooom, this hurts soooooooo bad"

"I'm sure it (guffaw) does"

So home we went where I attempted to roll down his pants over his heat-swollen legs. No joy.

"I'm going to cut them off"

Oh boy. My son and sharp knives. NEVER a good combo.He got a knife and tried. It cut through a bit of jeans and he came very close to slicing his leg while not managing to do the required damage to his pants. I told him to stop with the knife and let me take him to the fire department. They had tools to cut people out of their clothing---they had to.

He didn't want to go. I told him it wasn't far and they could do it quickly. He rolled on the bed for a moment in pain and then agreed.

My two girls also laughing hysterically, piled into the suburban for the ride to the fire station. I was laughing so hard I could hardly drive.

"Oooooh it hurtsssssssss"

Once we were there, I had to try and maintain my composure as I explained to the nice medic just why we were there. He laughed and said he'd be right back.

He came back with the jaws of life in his hands. The look in my son's face was priceless. His jaw dropped, his eyes bulged out and his face turned bright red.

The medic laughed and handed it to another fire fighter then pulled those cool little scissors out of his pocket and began slicing. Meanwhile, other fire fighters are filing in to see what is going on, and to also catch a glimpse of my oldest daughter. It took some time, but finally both legs were released from their jean tourniquets. Ahhhhh, sweet relief.

As we were leaving, he said he knew I was going to write about this. I thanked him and said it had been some time since he'd given me any material. I was just thankful there were no broken bones, blenders or blood involved this time.

Ahhhh.....sweet release.


  1. that is too funny! boys really are never too!

  2. Teenage boy gets mom to remove his pants.
    Another one scarred for life. Well done Pam!

  3. I can't believe he really agreed to go the fire department. That was hilarious to read. Thanks to the boy for the material.

  4. Brilliant! There is an element of getting your own back when your offspring do something like this. Thankyou for brightening a dull day at the office.

  5. Oh my heck!! I've never heard of that happening before! Was it because the jeans were so tight?? I can totally see the whole thing at the fire department. I wouldn't have thought of Fun times, huh?? My son graduates tomorrow too, and it's hard to believe two of them have made it to that age...let alone three girls. sigh. It's scary when there's only two left in the public school system...;)

  6. Oh my, LOL! I'm sure he gave the medics their chuckle for the day too!

    It might have been too long of a wait for him to stand, but I also thought about putting ice packs on his legs to bring down the swelling so he could unroll the pants. But it sounds like the medic idea was a heck of a lot funnier!

  7. That was such a lesson in disguise complete with great parenting and quite the chuckle and just pure entertainment. None the less entertaining for the fire dept too plus the kiddos. lOL I ROFL>>>>>>> giggles. Hope he recovers today.

  8. Pam, Don't let him wear turtle neck sweaters.

  9. Jackie6:53 AM

    Haha! YOur poor son! That'll teach him to wear those emo-skinny jeans!

  10. Anonymous11:02 AM

    okay I am over here now!

    holy cow!!!!

    never a dull moment at your place huh?


  11. Too funny Pammy... I was alarmed at first and then relieved. He is a good sport. :)

  12. Yes, never a dull moment here. Ever.

    Alan, you made me laugh and laugh. Don't let him wear a turtle neck! LOL!

    Sorry if I alarmed anyone--The Boy is fine. :)

    And Dave? You ALMOST LOL'd? What would make you LOL?

  13. Oh, Christbob... how we love you. You are too cute.

  14. Anonymous9:54 PM

    I guess you've finally graduated this year will have to change your opening header from "running with scissors" to "running to scissors". At least he probably has a brand new pair of cut offs for summer! We are so proud of him graduating this year -give him a big hug from us!
    -Kathy (sis)

  15. that will teach him to wear skinny jeans! i hate them and my 15 year old thinks they are soooo cool. {sorry for the pun}
    glad it all worked out- and that you got pictures! the kind you show at his wedding! :)

  16. What would make me LOL? Well, over here in England, the word 'pants' means something different to what you in the colonies say. Had the fire brigade needed to cut his pants off, with his mum photographing the results, then I might LOL.

  17. funniest. story. ever.

  18. I've heard of some cheap excuses for women to stare at uniformed firemen before but getting your son to wear tourniquets around his legs for a whole day is a bit much, surely?

  19. I've heard of some cheap excuses for women to stare at uniformed firemen before but getting your son to wear tourniquets around his legs for a whole day is a bit much, surely?


Post a Comment

Go ahead....tell me the truth :)

Popular posts from this blog

A Poem to an Abusive Man

I've been doing a bit of research on abuse, domestic violence and how it usually ends. It's not pretty and it's painful and I hurt every time I read another woman's tale of horror.

Did you know that emotional abuse is as detrimental as physical abuse? And that most emotional abusers continue on to become physical abusers? I didn't. I do now. I found a site where formerly abused women, on the path to recovery from their abusers, have written poems. This one below is one that haunted me.

Thank You

You wooed me with poetry
I bit on the hook
Had I only first read
The name of the book

I would have avoided
The very first page
For pages kept turning
Revealing the rage

The ups were a great high
The ride was a bash
But I rode with my eyes closed
To avoid seeing the crash
I knew it would come soon
But I never knew when
The rage and the leaving
And the path to the end

You had to control things
Determined you would
Emotionally destroying me
Every way that you could

Elderly Abuse

I heard a loud thud the other morning around 3:30 a.m. I checked my monitor but he'd once again turned it to the wall so I was unable to see if he was still in bed. I went downstairs right behind my sweet husband and dad was on the living room floor moaning and holding his head. He'd fallen. Hard.

The first picture is the day of the fall. The second is the day after. The black eye keeps blossoming. He has a gash on his head, hidden by his silver hair and he skinned his shoulder/arm. He's a mess.

Was he using his walker? Nope. 85 year old toddlers cannot be told what to do. Or rather, they can be told what to do, they simply won't comply. Ever. In fact they get down right angry and throw fits. It's not pretty.

His physical therapist came to the house the next day and strongly told him to use his walker EACH TIME HE STOOD UP. Has he? Nope. Nyet. He was very angry with me yesterday because I kept asking him to use his walker. Also, I asked him i…



Back on the horse
Monkey on his back
I see no light
Not even a crack
Back to delusions
Back to the lies
I see through his words
He can't hear my cries

Back into his soul
Back into his veins
The poison he pours
Dark liquid his chains

Backed into a corner
Heartbroken and torn
Back into the needle
The eye of the storm

Back to the wall
Soul bruised torn and broken
Back to my pain
His eyes half open

Back into the horror
Will he ever come back
Back into the nightmare
A needle in a sack

Back into his childhood
I loved him with fury
Looking back on his life
His choices my jury

How did this happen
Back to evil and sin
How can he do this
Lines on his skin

Back to my weeping
Back to my sorrow
My son, my love,
Has no more tomorrows
(all rights reserved)