Skip to main content


I went to the pool this morning, instead of going fetal as I did most of the week. Yay me. Felt better for having done so, and then took a dip in the jacuzzi afterwards.

It's been pouring down rain here most of the day. Poor hubby, he went to my sister's house after work to pick up my nieces so they can spend the night here. Traffic is a bugger tonight. Ashley is getting baptized tomorrow morning, so my sis and the rest of the fam will be coming out for that and to pester me more about selling our house and moving into my father's house.

I feel so overwhelmed about it all. I look around at my house and think about what it would entail to move, and that's when I go fetal. I admit it. I'm a wimp. Total. Unadulterated. Complete wimp.

On a brighter note, I'll be making apple crisp for after the baptism tomorrow. I'd planned to do a mini-brunch type thing but that's hard to do with no money.


  1. Carolyn10:38 PM

    Ah hon, I understand the desire to go fetal and just "not exist" for awhile. {{{Pam}}}
    I hope Ashley has a wonderful special day tomorrow!

  2. give ashley a hug for me.
    your need to go fetal is understandable. you do quite a bit. take care of yourself.

  3. your neocounter is cool

  4. Pammy, you go fetal if you want to babe. Your a sweet sweet mommy and wifey, so you're allowed.

  5. hey that counter is so great! I am here with someone from the US - who are you??
    BTW happy day and apple crisps sounds yummy!

  6. Thanks Carolyn, I know you understand.

    Anna, I know I need to give myself permission to do it once in a while.

    and the counter is pretty cool, huh?

    Tommy dear, you're sweet. Big kisses hon.

    ziggi, it was probably me. I leave my page up a lot. I tried to save you some apple crisp, but they ate it all!


Post a Comment

Go ahead....tell me the truth :)

Popular posts from this blog

A Poem to an Abusive Man

I've been doing a bit of research on abuse, domestic violence and how it usually ends. It's not pretty and it's painful and I hurt every time I read another woman's tale of horror.

Did you know that emotional abuse is as detrimental as physical abuse? And that most emotional abusers continue on to become physical abusers? I didn't. I do now. I found a site where formerly abused women, on the path to recovery from their abusers, have written poems. This one below is one that haunted me.

Thank You

You wooed me with poetry
I bit on the hook
Had I only first read
The name of the book

I would have avoided
The very first page
For pages kept turning
Revealing the rage

The ups were a great high
The ride was a bash
But I rode with my eyes closed
To avoid seeing the crash
I knew it would come soon
But I never knew when
The rage and the leaving
And the path to the end

You had to control things
Determined you would
Emotionally destroying me
Every way that you could

Elderly Abuse

I heard a loud thud the other morning around 3:30 a.m. I checked my monitor but he'd once again turned it to the wall so I was unable to see if he was still in bed. I went downstairs right behind my sweet husband and dad was on the living room floor moaning and holding his head. He'd fallen. Hard.

The first picture is the day of the fall. The second is the day after. The black eye keeps blossoming. He has a gash on his head, hidden by his silver hair and he skinned his shoulder/arm. He's a mess.

Was he using his walker? Nope. 85 year old toddlers cannot be told what to do. Or rather, they can be told what to do, they simply won't comply. Ever. In fact they get down right angry and throw fits. It's not pretty.

His physical therapist came to the house the next day and strongly told him to use his walker EACH TIME HE STOOD UP. Has he? Nope. Nyet. He was very angry with me yesterday because I kept asking him to use his walker. Also, I asked him i…



Back on the horse
Monkey on his back
I see no light
Not even a crack
Back to delusions
Back to the lies
I see through his words
He can't hear my cries

Back into his soul
Back into his veins
The poison he pours
Dark liquid his chains

Backed into a corner
Heartbroken and torn
Back into the needle
The eye of the storm

Back to the wall
Soul bruised torn and broken
Back to my pain
His eyes half open

Back into the horror
Will he ever come back
Back into the nightmare
A needle in a sack

Back into his childhood
I loved him with fury
Looking back on his life
His choices my jury

How did this happen
Back to evil and sin
How can he do this
Lines on his skin

Back to my weeping
Back to my sorrow
My son, my love,
Has no more tomorrows
(all rights reserved)