Skip to main content


Showing posts from March, 2007

Words from beyond the grave....

Ok, not really. It just feels like that to me right now. I did finally go to the doc and I have lots of medicine to take, some of which are making me feel worse and some of which render me unconscious. I'm rather liking that part.

At any rate, it's been a while since I've updated here on a personal note and not just my columns. We found a home for the two kittens, Tuna and Buttercup. We miss them horribly and here's the girls holding them before I took them off to meet their new human. I negotiated visitation rights with the man, and he promised to send pictures via email.

This is the one I'm missing the most. The girls named him Tuna. He would lay in my arms for hours, like a baby, and sleep. His fur was the softest thing to my skin.

Last week the girls had an art show at their school. Here's Ashley with her masterpiece.

And Allison with hers.

In other, wonderful news. The Girl has been accepted to BYU and will be leaving us in late August. She has …

It's Snot Easy....

Today we're going to discuss Fun With Mucus and Nocturnal Animals. If you're squeamish, please continue reading. You know you want to. While you're at it, have someone take a picture of your face while you're reading and send it to me. I love making people happy.

Every morning I knowingly send my four offspring to seething petri dishes full of bacteria, otherwise known as school, where they exchange, trade and have recess with deadly strains of the cold and flu virus. It was only a matter of time until they engaged in biological warfare with my aged and compromised immune system.

I never stood a chance.

Last night, after ingesting near-lethal doses of Nyquil, I tried to sleep. Each time I lay horizontally, both nasal passages became hot rivers of slime, draining down my face and pooling on my pillow.

You know what happens next, right? C'mon. You've all done it at some point in your life. You wad up little pieces of tissue and plug the offending ho…

I'm still alive

At least I think so. Sorry to have disappeared off the face of the earth for awhile. Life seems to have gotten the better of me lately. Things going on that don't bear talking about in public right now. In a little while maybe life on my blog will resume as semi-normal as it was before.

Unitl then, hugs and kisses to those who have called or emailed or commented and missed me. I miss you all too.

Dumb Blondes

“Hey Mom, can I take the suburban and go to the mall?”
“OK, just to the mall and that's all”
“No mom, I'm going to hijack the suburban and take it to California”
“You do know I have a Lojack on it, right?”
“The suburban has a GPA?”
“Yes Stephanie. Our suburban has a Grade Point Average”
“It does??”
“No, it has a GPS on it, not a GPA. I'm sure our suburban, lovely as it is, does not need a high GPA, unlike you. How's that going, by the way?”

At this point she falls over laughing at her own stupidity. She is blonde and realizes that sometimes it simply can't be helped. Her beauty is a curse and a blessing.

Last week I was forced to use her beauty to attract males. Yes, I shamelessly put my daughter out of our suburban, told her to stand there and look helpless. Not a difficult thing for her to do, as she was helpless. Our vehicle's battery had died and between us we have the car I.Q. Of a gnat. A gnat that has met a messy end on our windshield. Neither of us re…