Skip to main content

Mother's Lament



My arms
hunger to hold
the you that was
tiny, precious, new
skin to skin
changings
feedings
mouth to breast
heart to head
tiny fist curled
around my finger
nights spent
listening
inhale exhale
sweet breath of life
in and out
out and in
miraculous

I your universe
you mine
butterfly kisses
midnight cuddles
unconditional
forever
and beyond

My arms hunger
to hold
the you that was
yesterday
diaper changes
lotions
belly kisses
giggles

today
college
boys
fists that once
curled around
now open
outward
reaching
going
leaving

My heart hungers
to hold
the you that was
eyes struggle
to see
tousled blond curls
is it ok mommy
can I mommy
look mommy

Goodbye mommy

Oh how my arms
my arms
my heart
they hunger
they hurt

~Pamela 10/20/06

Comments

  1. joyce3:20 PM

    what is there to say, but : Well said.
    My youngest is only three, and already I can sometimes feel my arms just hanging at my sides....

    ReplyDelete
  2. Unknown3:51 PM

    I wrote that with tears running down my face and my heart so full it simply poured out of me and onto the page.

    Hold on tight Joyce...it's gone so quickly.

    ReplyDelete
  3. WithinWithout8:33 PM

    Well, Pamela, that is just one of the most beautiful, simple, loving things my heart has ever heard.

    It's the most important and meaningful thing I've read today.

    Thanks so much.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Zig7:01 AM

    sniff - that is so lovely - sniff, my baby has been away a month at college and it made me howl.

    Just catching up with your other posts - I do hope that your luck changes anytime soon now - I am thinking of you and your family, daughter, sister, father et al xxx

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous9:00 AM

    HUGS -- I am dreading that day!

    ReplyDelete
  6. jromer2:06 AM

    maybe now it will post. i left one earlier telling you this was beautiful but i don't see it here. maybe this one will show. i know it took something breaking in you to write it.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Carmenzta9:52 AM

    Pammy, that was beautiful! I often miss my two babies that way. But I have to say that the trade-off, watching them grow into young men that can sneak up behind me and pick me up off the floor is also a great feeling! Thank you for posting that, I love it!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Unknown10:02 PM

    Anna...you're right. It did take something breaking inside me to write that....

    Carmy, I know. It gets better. It's just...you know.

    Ziggi, I'm sorry I made you cry. Blink, and they're gone. :;sigh::

    WW, your words touched me. Thank you.

    Sketchy, hang on to your babies and treasure every second.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Go ahead....tell me the truth :)

Popular posts from this blog

Wheeeeeeee!

Today I was awakened to the not-so-delightful sounds of enormous dump trucks, (you know the ones that are a dump truck and they haul a trailer behind?) dumping truck load after truck load of dirt behind my house. Then the most incredibly noisey and squeaky (do they not grease the tracks on those things??) grader began shoving the dirt and rocks around. I had to fight the urge to throw a can of WD40 over the fence to the driver. It wasn't even eight in the morning. It wasn't even 7:30 yet. So I reluctantly arose from my bed and cleaned up the kitchen. After it was spotless, I went back upstairs to my freeze-zone (the only room in the house with AC) to do some online banking and make calls to check on medical bills, etc. As I was finishing up, in walks my husband! At first I had a moment of Oh-no-he's-lost-his-job terror. Then it passed after he smiled. Seems they ran out of work for the day. Odd, but then that's Boeing. So hubby was roped into going school cloth
19 comments
Read more

She's Something...

Most of you know that I've got four children. My eldest is seventeen. Oh heavens...how did that happen? Wasn't I just seventeen the other day? I'm sure I was.... Well, she's amazing. I know the majority of mothers have very high compliments to pay their children--and rightly so. However, my baby girl is astounding by anyone's standards. She is going to high school and college at the same time. In high school she's taking mostly AP (Advanced Placement) classes, which also count for college credits. She gets up at five a.m. every morning, goes to Seminary, then goes to school, she works four hours daily as an office manager at Winderemere Real Estate. She speaks Spanish, plays piano, guitar and flute. She goes to the gym daily and it shows. This was her yesterday. This is a picture I just took of her, after getting her braces put on. Now, having said that she is gifted and talented, I should ammend this post to tell you the following. She just got home
18 comments
Read more

Peace Begins with You

In my readings this week, I came across a video of Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin. He gave a talk entitled, "Peace Within." Who doesn't want peace? Who doesn't crave peace within their soul? In their lives? In their hearts and in their homes? How often do we have complete peace? I'd say my answer would have to be that there isn't enough peace in my life, heart or home. It's not like I live in a warzone--I do not. I'm blessed to live in a nation where I have freedoms granted to me by the founding fathers and I do not risk being struck down by bombs or shot by snipers when I venture forth from my home. My neighborhood is relatively safe, so much so that I take solo walks. The peace I speak of is something different. It's the peace that can be with me no matter my circumstances. I crave that peace. Elder Wirthlin says that peace begins in the hearts of righteous individuals. How does it begin? With a relationship with our creator. In ferven
1 comment
Read more