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Mother's Lament



My arms
hunger to hold
the you that was
tiny, precious, new
skin to skin
changings
feedings
mouth to breast
heart to head
tiny fist curled
around my finger
nights spent
listening
inhale exhale
sweet breath of life
in and out
out and in
miraculous

I your universe
you mine
butterfly kisses
midnight cuddles
unconditional
forever
and beyond

My arms hunger
to hold
the you that was
yesterday
diaper changes
lotions
belly kisses
giggles

today
college
boys
fists that once
curled around
now open
outward
reaching
going
leaving

My heart hungers
to hold
the you that was
eyes struggle
to see
tousled blond curls
is it ok mommy
can I mommy
look mommy

Goodbye mommy

Oh how my arms
my arms
my heart
they hunger
they hurt

~Pamela 10/20/06

Comments

  1. joyce3:20 PM

    what is there to say, but : Well said.
    My youngest is only three, and already I can sometimes feel my arms just hanging at my sides....

    ReplyDelete
  2. Unknown3:51 PM

    I wrote that with tears running down my face and my heart so full it simply poured out of me and onto the page.

    Hold on tight Joyce...it's gone so quickly.

    ReplyDelete
  3. WithinWithout8:33 PM

    Well, Pamela, that is just one of the most beautiful, simple, loving things my heart has ever heard.

    It's the most important and meaningful thing I've read today.

    Thanks so much.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Zig7:01 AM

    sniff - that is so lovely - sniff, my baby has been away a month at college and it made me howl.

    Just catching up with your other posts - I do hope that your luck changes anytime soon now - I am thinking of you and your family, daughter, sister, father et al xxx

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous9:00 AM

    HUGS -- I am dreading that day!

    ReplyDelete
  6. jromer2:06 AM

    maybe now it will post. i left one earlier telling you this was beautiful but i don't see it here. maybe this one will show. i know it took something breaking in you to write it.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Carmenzta9:52 AM

    Pammy, that was beautiful! I often miss my two babies that way. But I have to say that the trade-off, watching them grow into young men that can sneak up behind me and pick me up off the floor is also a great feeling! Thank you for posting that, I love it!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Unknown10:02 PM

    Anna...you're right. It did take something breaking inside me to write that....

    Carmy, I know. It gets better. It's just...you know.

    Ziggi, I'm sorry I made you cry. Blink, and they're gone. :;sigh::

    WW, your words touched me. Thank you.

    Sketchy, hang on to your babies and treasure every second.

    ReplyDelete

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