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What to do.....what to do....

Having spent the majority of yesterday in bed with hubby (and not in good way), it's nice to climb from the sack this morning to find that my tummy issues appear to have resolved, but my spinal column is still trying to kill me.

I'll head off to the pool after I get the last of the kidlets off to school. It usually helps me work the kinks out and I feel better for it. I hope my hubby's back is feeling better this morning. That reminds me, I need to make him an appointment with the Chiropractor.

Next week marks the end of the school year for my babies. The year seems to have flown. Again. Soon I'll be sitting in a nursing home, gumming my meals, holding wheelchair races down the halls and wondering why my children never visit.

Ah yes, the cycle of life.

I've spent the last couple of days working on columns for deadlines and pondering writing a letter to a murderer.

When I was fourteen, my best friend was raped and murdered. Everyone, including a good family friend who was a homicide cop, was sure that Ted Bundy was the one that had taken Kathy's life. It turns out that we were wrong. And now that I'm in the initial stages of writing about Kathy, I feel as though I need to talk to If only to ask him why.

Time to wake the last two sleeping angels and get them off to school so I can swim my anxiety off. Toodles!


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A Poem to an Abusive Man

I've been doing a bit of research on abuse, domestic violence and how it usually ends. It's not pretty and it's painful and I hurt every time I read another woman's tale of horror.

Did you know that emotional abuse is as detrimental as physical abuse? And that most emotional abusers continue on to become physical abusers? I didn't. I do now. I found a site where formerly abused women, on the path to recovery from their abusers, have written poems. This one below is one that haunted me.

Thank You

You wooed me with poetry
I bit on the hook
Had I only first read
The name of the book

I would have avoided
The very first page
For pages kept turning
Revealing the rage

The ups were a great high
The ride was a bash
But I rode with my eyes closed
To avoid seeing the crash
I knew it would come soon
But I never knew when
The rage and the leaving
And the path to the end

You had to control things
Determined you would
Emotionally destroying me
Every way that you could

Elderly Abuse

I heard a loud thud the other morning around 3:30 a.m. I checked my monitor but he'd once again turned it to the wall so I was unable to see if he was still in bed. I went downstairs right behind my sweet husband and dad was on the living room floor moaning and holding his head. He'd fallen. Hard.

The first picture is the day of the fall. The second is the day after. The black eye keeps blossoming. He has a gash on his head, hidden by his silver hair and he skinned his shoulder/arm. He's a mess.

Was he using his walker? Nope. 85 year old toddlers cannot be told what to do. Or rather, they can be told what to do, they simply won't comply. Ever. In fact they get down right angry and throw fits. It's not pretty.

His physical therapist came to the house the next day and strongly told him to use his walker EACH TIME HE STOOD UP. Has he? Nope. Nyet. He was very angry with me yesterday because I kept asking him to use his walker. Also, I asked him i…



Back on the horse
Monkey on his back
I see no light
Not even a crack
Back to delusions
Back to the lies
I see through his words
He can't hear my cries

Back into his soul
Back into his veins
The poison he pours
Dark liquid his chains

Backed into a corner
Heartbroken and torn
Back into the needle
The eye of the storm

Back to the wall
Soul bruised torn and broken
Back to my pain
His eyes half open

Back into the horror
Will he ever come back
Back into the nightmare
A needle in a sack

Back into his childhood
I loved him with fury
Looking back on his life
His choices my jury

How did this happen
Back to evil and sin
How can he do this
Lines on his skin

Back to my weeping
Back to my sorrow
My son, my love,
Has no more tomorrows
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