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Curfew Breaking

Gad, how did I get to be the age where I'm in charge of enforcing curfews on a hormonal seventeen year old girl child??

She knows her curfew is 11:30. This is a highly generous curfew time, considering that she's gorgeous. If I had my druthers, she'd be homeschooled and wearing burlap sacks over her body and a large sombrero on her head and never allowed to see any boys.

She works out at a gym near our home every day. She's been utterly fanatical about it, sometimes going there twice a day. She's missed her curfew three times this week alone. Tonight I text messaged her and told her to get home. No response. I texted her again that I was coming over there. She obviously didn't believe me because she didn't come home.

I went over. In my nightie and barefoot no less. It's nearly midnight, I'd rather have been asleep.

I didn't go in. I didn't have to. It's a 24 hour gym, and you can see inside. I saw her truck and one other truck there. Aha. A guy. Brock is his name. He works there. He's the ONLY one there.

She came scurring out to head me off from coming inside and enbarrassing her totally. (It was never my intention to get out of my suburban and walk inside the place--I knew once she saw me she'd race outside). I told her she was grounded, to get in her car and get home. I watched her go back inside, and talk to the guy again. More talk. Then a hug. (blood beginning to boil a bit here) and she walks out. I'm still sitting there looking inside. The guy turns, sees me looking at him. We look at each other.

If there had been thought bubbles above our heads mine would have not been a ladylike one.

I had to drive around to the other side of the building to get out. I saw him looking out at me. I looked back at him.

I think I need to join that gym.


  1. Oooh...I'd be worried, too. Time to enforce the curfew in a big way. I'm sure she's a great kid, but why put trouble out there within reach?!

  2. i'm all for women exploring their love lives and sexuality etc, etc, etc, but i understand your concern. hopefully everything you've taught her will guide her decisons. is this guy older than her? this must be so hard for you. but, like i said, you taught her self respect so hopefully that will translate.

  3. Totally unrelated but did you know the google ads see your name nearby and therefore try to flog us the latest dvd starring Pamela Anderson in all her salacious and uninhibited glory.

  4. This guy, if he's even one minute over age 18, should be warned that if anything happens to your little girl while in his presence, he'll be held legally responsible.

    Enjoy your new gym membership!

  5. Yes, he is 20 years old. TWENTY! The only reason I joined the gym down the road is that they have a pool and I love to swim. I go there every morning. Even on Saturdays. I will think about joining this one---or speaking to the manager.

    Richard, yes, I know that I get ads with Pamela Anderson in them. Can't be helped unless I change my name fo Vicus, or Tom, or some such male name.

  6. Pamela, here comes the libertarian view on child rearing. Are you ready for it?
    Let her fly babe! trying to stop her could make one hell of a mess. One of my daughters was in utter mayhem by the time she was fourteen - now she is just the most beautiful thirty year old human being you could ever want to meet.
    PS. When I was 17 I was well gone out of my mum's control. If she'd tried to stop me I'd have been gone further too, and she knew that, and just let me go.

  7. look at all this advice! yeah you gotta trust your daughter. and yeah, this punkass is 20 and needs to remember there's a subject called statutory rape. unfortunately, until your daughter is maybe thirty, she won't see how this guy really is. she might try to rebel against you and confuse that reactionary itch to rebel as her true feelings depending on what happens between the two of you. but also, if left alone, she might be able to stop focusing on how much you are in her eyes, punishing her, and how much of a loser this guy is. let it be known that i do not think you are punishing her. i just remember what it was like when i was younger. if my mother had stopped pushing me so much on everything (don't worry, i'm not comparing you, i'm just saying what my experience was) i wouldn't have spent so much time fighting her instead of focusing on the lame piece of crap that was standing in front of me. she and i fought so much, it's all i heard. i didn't hear the stupid crap coming out of the guy's mouth. he got to shine by default. and guess what he and i spoke about? that's right. my outrageously unreasonable mother. and we 'bonded' over that. where's that piece of crap now? nowhere. where's my mother? exactly. you're in a tough position. i do not envy you.

  8. I think we English must remember that the age of consent over here is 16. We don't have the same legal recourses as our American cousins so that option rarely arises here and when it does it's an easier call. Our dilemmas are usually centred around suitability and circumstance hence our slight confusion over Pamela's own problem. I don't know what's right. Physically they're adults with all the attendant desires that encompasses. It is as inevitable as night follows day but it's legislators and moral guardians that cause the confusion for parents.

  9. I think you enforce the rule with the grounding but after that, just any time she goes to work out you say "Great honey! I feel like working out myself!" Oh and buy yourself the ugliest track suit you can find... ;)

  10. Pam,
    I had four beautiful daughters, and it almost killed me when 17 became the legal age for females here in Texas. I became ill over the first two, than I let it go.

    One thing for sure, trust is a good weapon --- but kids will do what they want to during or after curfew. Can't watch them all the time, and you seem to be a good Mother, she ain't gonna go left without you knowing it.

    Best advice I can give you is to prepare to let go --- or they will rip your heart out unintentional. Just let her know you are there for her, and if you can't watch the news together --- tape it for her. May work better than curfew, and that's on the real side.

  11. You've all given me a lot to think about.

    I do trust my baby girl. I don't trust males that age, as we all know just what is on their mind.

    Stephanie has been taught what's right and what's wrong. I don't think she will make any wrong moves. Having said that, I am still her mother and until she's not under my roof, then she's still under my rules.

    It's not harsh. She just knows that her curfew is to be obeyed.

    It's just hard let go of your babies.

  12. Run and RUN FAST to the membership counter!!! Do not pass go, do not collect $200. That BOY is T-R-O-U-B-L-E!!! I was seventeen once too...I remember.

    BTW, found you by way of Naddin J.

  13. P.S. My mom made sure I knew I was loved regardless of any "questionable" decisions that I made. It just doesn't hurt to let her know that you are still VERY much a part of her life that you only have her very-best interest at heart. I still don't think it would hurt for you to join that gym. ;)

  14. ask that boy if twenty year old women are too old for him. and as i write this, i think to he even smart enough to get it? sheesh.

  15. notice i said BOY and not MAN.

  16. Pamela,

    You got a lot of good advice. I am still having curfew problems with my 19-yr-old son. He stays out very late and then falls asleep in his classes the next day. And he is still under my roof, so he has to abide by my rules.

    It's not easy. And whatever we as mothers do will be considered the wrong thing anyway.

    What I try to do is to keep in mind that he has many years of positive programming and always hope for the best. I also try to maintain good communication with him.

  17. I think you need to join that gym, too.

  18. This is me, joining another gym. That will make two.

    You'd think I'd be more buff.

    And with that, I'm off to my first gym. Toodles.

  19. dvrShe's a great girl, has a solid family and knows your family values. Like you said, you trust her. Him, not so much. I love love that you busted her in your pj's! And the 'ole stink eye puts him on notice, if she breaks curfew with you. You'll open up a can of whoop ass. : ) But to give him the benefit of the doubt, he may think she's as special as you. And will adhear to all your rules. (This being said by a woman who just weaned her son by fierce protest and officiallly became the first woman to break his little heart.) Feel free to remind me of this in 10 years when Olivia is 16. I'll probably just go the ugly track suit and dual membership route.

  20. p.s. tell Lance I messed up. The capital of New Hampshire is Concord.

  21. Were you playing 'Name the Capitals' at the bus stop this morning? I love that game. I get most of them correct, which is amazing.

    I had to pull Lance from the bus stop (and all you gorgeous mommies) to go to the pool with me this morning. It was fun not to go alone.

    And you weaned Louie?? Awwww. Was it this hard with Olivia and Noel? If not, then simply chalk it up to the fact that he's male and some things just never change. :grin:

  22. I love that game too, a little rusty though.

    The girls were so easy. They just kind of forgot. Louie was pretty upset by it this morning. I am hoping he forgets soon. He'll probably just start channeling his want for later oogling.

  23. You can bet he will! Males. ::shakes head::: One track minds since birth, donchathink? ::grin::

  24. I am so grateful I"m not the only blogging mom with teenagers.. and rebellious ones at that (although mine take the cake) Thanks for your honesty.


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