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She's Something...

Most of you know that I've got four children. My eldest is seventeen.

Oh did that happen? Wasn't I just seventeen the other day? I'm sure I was....

Well, she's amazing. I know the majority of mothers have very high compliments to pay their children--and rightly so. However, my baby girl is astounding by anyone's standards.

She is going to high school and college at the same time. In high school she's taking mostly AP (Advanced Placement) classes, which also count for college credits. She gets up at five a.m. every morning, goes to Seminary, then goes to school, she works four hours daily as an office manager at Winderemere Real Estate. She speaks Spanish, plays piano, guitar and flute. She goes to the gym daily and it shows.

This was her yesterday.

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This is a picture I just took of her, after getting her braces put on.
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Now, having said that she is gifted and talented, I should ammend this post to tell you the following.

She just got home from having her braces put on and she's hungry.

Me: "I bought some yogurt, it's in the frig"
Her: (semi-whiny voice) "I'll be eating yogurt all week when it starts to hurt!
I don't WANT yogurt right now!"
Me: "Oooooh-kay. How about some pasta?"
Her: "We don't HAVE any!"

She went off in search of something edible and non-yogurty. She found a California Kitchen frozen pizza in the freezer.

Her: "Mooooom! Can I make this pizza?"
Me: "Yes"
Her: "Will you do it for me?"
Me: "No."
Her: "mooooom, I don't know how to cook it!"
Me: (running low on patience and speaking very slowly to maximize understanding)
"Take it out of the cardboard box. Remove the plastic from around the pizza. Read the box to find out what temperature to cook the pizza at. Turn oven on. When the oven is heated up, put the pizza IN the oven on the rack"
Her: "I can't do that!"
Me: "Yes, you actually can"

A bit later she says she can't put the pizza IN the oven. Will I do it for her?

Her: "Why does it go on the rack and not on a cookie sheet?"
Me: "I don't know, that's just what the directions say"
Her: "Mooooom, I can't! Please do it for me!"
Me: "Honey, when you go away to college next year, I'm sure you will be called upon
to bake a pizza. You will need to know how to do this all on your very own"
Her: "I won't buy a frickin' pizza that isn't cooked on a cookie sheet!"

Ah yes. The light of my life. Just baked a pizza. I'm ever so proud.


  1. IS THAT ME REACHING FOR MY BIRTH CONTROL? JUST KIDDING. i wonder if she just wanted to be mommied because she is freaking out about going away next year. (for school)

  2. Pamela, this is a brilliant post!

    What a gorgeous daughter you have. My own daughter has just turned 18 and is graduating from high school in less than a month.

    Monica is a beauty and, understand how I'm saying this -- with a smile on my face and a great deal of love for her -- a beast.

    She's an honors student, a do-it-by-myself kind of girl, strong, independent, stubborn, headstrong female.

    We did the braces thing too. When she's here with me, she IS Queen Sheba. And somehow, I don't mind.

    She's going to university next year too, on a scholarship to boot, but it's only five minutes away.

    Thanks for the warm feeling that came out of your post.

  3. Anna, no worries. Your future offspring will probably not be cooking frozen pizzas in ovens by that time. Aren't we running out of natural resources at an alarming rate? :grin:

    within, without, thanks for your visit and post. Monica sounds great. We're hoping our Stephanie can get a scholarship as well for next year. I applaud you in that you're keeping her so close to you. I'm fervently hoping mine will go to college in a neighboring state, if only to learn how to cook pizzas and make top ramen on her own.

  4. Okay, it worked for Ashley, so tell your eldest: I can't be, because Sirius is an immense, glowing, extraordinarily hot ball of gas and debris, much like Roseanne Barr during menopause.

    Or let me tell her what it was like to have band-style braces hammered on each tooth with a hammer and drift and eat soup, milkshakes, ice cream, soup, soup and soup without so much soup in it for a week.

    Soup, soup, soup, soup,

  5. She is GORGEOUS! You didn't mention that part!
    She doesn't need to know how to cook. She can be like me, and date a chef, and then marry a guy who loves to cook!

  6. Shhh! Don't tell her, but we've arranged a marriage for her with a man who LOVES to cook!

    Oh wait. We already told her. Perhaps that's why she's not even pretending to try!

  7. Boy am I ever glad that you stumbled upon my blog, or I wouldn't have had the opportunity to start reading yours. I've only made it through the most recent couple of posts so far but I love it! You are definitely my kind of mom. :)

  8. Awwww, you're sweet.

    Now if I could just get my kids to feel that I'm their kind of mom! :grin:

    Yes, she is a beautiful girl. I'm planning on forcing her to dress in big burlap sacks, with large sombreros on her head. Or perhaps a burkha. That might work as well.

  9. I just found your blog through Mrs. Chili's and had to comment...

    From a child's point of view, I totally understand and related to that conversation you and your daughter had about the pizza...I was an only child to make matters worse so pretty much everything was done for me my whole life anyway (I didn't have to do my own laundry until I went off to college, :S...sad, I know). I just found this post humorous and wanted to comment on it because I think the first comment hit the nail right on the head - at least for me. I definitely started freaking out when I was getting ready to go off to college and even though I was working two jobs, had several school activities and was taking almost an entire courseload of AP classes, making me a capable young woman by most standards, I too needed help putting things in the over. Good memories.

  10. Pammy, there are so many blokes out there in cyberspace who have the hots for you. You only have to read the last few comments on my blog.
    I'm beginning to feel just part of the crowd. You're just not making me feel special anymore.
    I'm away for a couple of days now but I promise a new post on monday.

  11. Tom, Pam - I'm not competing for anyone's affections. Remember, I'm an editor - we're selfish bastards with no love for anyone but ourselves and strong drink >B^D

  12. Sarah, can you now cook a pizza on your very own? I ask only because I am concerned my beautiful daughter my starve herself next year rather than admit to her roommates that she doesn't know anything about cooking. Chemistry? Sure, she's getting an A, but cooking? Ha!

    Tom dear, you know that I only have eyes for you. Please have fun for the two days you are gone and then come back to me a new man.

    Fronty (still giggling), I don't find you selfish in the least. I find you amusing and caring and the noblest of humans I've yet to meet. Now that I've done some major league sucking up, is my column in your paper yet? :grin:

  13. When I finally get something approaching editorial control, you're it.

    BTW, can I get some free advertising for that catheter?

  14. Pamela,

    She is indeed beautiful and intelligent and so she really does not need to learn to cook. She will be fine. You must be very proud of her!

    Fronty, you don't have to do a lot of advertising. In a few years, we will all be ordering the catheter, with whatever head you decide to put on it, for ourselves.

  15. In fact, I'll order two right now.

  16. You are completely aware, are you not, that now that you have posted these details about your daughter here, it is a moot point as to whether her ability to look after herself is an issue.
    No one will take her off your hands now, and even if they were willing to, she would be too traumatised to go with them.
    You are stuck with her for life.

  17. howdy!

    wow, your daughter is beautiful!

    get down on your knees and thank whatever higher power you worship that she isn't pulling the crap mine pulled at that age. scholastically the same, but
    just like her mom, actually.

  18. Vicus, that was actually part of my master plan.

    First Nations, welcome and thank you for the compliment on my daughter. She, of course, would kill me in ways best not contemplated should she discover that she was the object of an Internet conversation that began with her mother posting pictures of her.

    I live dangerously, don't I? If I should suddenly disappear, you need to tell the police about her.


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