Anyone who knows me, knows that we were the lucky recipients of four kittens a couple of months back. Four delightful, furry balls of fun and mischief were born into our family. Oh yes, lovely little hairy creatures with sharp pointed teeth and wicked slicing claws that can knock over any plant or glass vase in the house by merely looking at it with their bright yellow eyes. Wild eyed, racing balls of fur that use my semi-new living room furniture as scratching posts or as spots to hork up nagging hairballs from their tummies.
I just love them. And not because they'll be the cause of me getting brand new couches sometime in the near future. No, I love them for other reasons. If I had enough time I'm sure I could come up with those reasons and explain them in excruciating detail to you, but that's not what I wanted to talk about today.
Today I want to discuss males. Not just males of the human variety, but males of the feline species specifically. You see, the kittens that I have are all males. I know this because it's hard not to know this when looking at them. They have no shame. No modesty. None. Zip. Nada. Plus, I had to explain some biology to my two youngest daughters when they pointed out various protuberances on their kittens and wanted to know what they were exactly. This was a birds and the bees and the kittens kind of chat. They probably learned more than they wanted to learn about their pets. I know I did.
The kittens are now nearly three months old, litter box trained and weaned. I add this in case there are any of you out there that would like to adopt one of these little balls of love. So, where was I? Oh yes. Weaned. These kittens are all weaned. If you're not sure what that means, Webster has a little definition here for you.
Main Entry: wean
Function: transitive verb
Meaning 1. To accustom, (as a child) to take food otherwise than by nursing.
This also applies to animals. Once an animal has been weaned off of a mother's breast, it's customary for that child to remain off the mother's breast. It's not like at the age twelve you suddenly get the yen for some really tasty breast milk from you former supplier. That would be wrong on too many levels to enumerate in this column.
I buy kitten food for the kittens to eat. They drink water, and eat kitten food. All is right in the world of weaning.
Until today. I came upon my mother cat, still emaciated from her bout with birthing four hairy angels into the world and then being their sole source of food for two months, surrounded by her male progeny all nursing upon her!
Shock, dismay and not just a little empathy for this poor mother swept through me. They've gone back to the breast! How could they? It's just not natural!
Oh. They're male. That explains a lot. Some things just never change from species to species, do they? Now shoo kitties! Off! Give your poor mommy a break. I don't want to have to explain this aspect of the birdies and the bees and males to my daughters just yet.
I just love them. And not because they'll be the cause of me getting brand new couches sometime in the near future. No, I love them for other reasons. If I had enough time I'm sure I could come up with those reasons and explain them in excruciating detail to you, but that's not what I wanted to talk about today.
Today I want to discuss males. Not just males of the human variety, but males of the feline species specifically. You see, the kittens that I have are all males. I know this because it's hard not to know this when looking at them. They have no shame. No modesty. None. Zip. Nada. Plus, I had to explain some biology to my two youngest daughters when they pointed out various protuberances on their kittens and wanted to know what they were exactly. This was a birds and the bees and the kittens kind of chat. They probably learned more than they wanted to learn about their pets. I know I did.
The kittens are now nearly three months old, litter box trained and weaned. I add this in case there are any of you out there that would like to adopt one of these little balls of love. So, where was I? Oh yes. Weaned. These kittens are all weaned. If you're not sure what that means, Webster has a little definition here for you.
Main Entry: wean
Function: transitive verb
Meaning 1. To accustom, (as a child) to take food otherwise than by nursing.
This also applies to animals. Once an animal has been weaned off of a mother's breast, it's customary for that child to remain off the mother's breast. It's not like at the age twelve you suddenly get the yen for some really tasty breast milk from you former supplier. That would be wrong on too many levels to enumerate in this column.
I buy kitten food for the kittens to eat. They drink water, and eat kitten food. All is right in the world of weaning.
Until today. I came upon my mother cat, still emaciated from her bout with birthing four hairy angels into the world and then being their sole source of food for two months, surrounded by her male progeny all nursing upon her!
Shock, dismay and not just a little empathy for this poor mother swept through me. They've gone back to the breast! How could they? It's just not natural!
Oh. They're male. That explains a lot. Some things just never change from species to species, do they? Now shoo kitties! Off! Give your poor mommy a break. I don't want to have to explain this aspect of the birdies and the bees and males to my daughters just yet.
hork! ahhahahhahahhaahhaha! i nearly horked myself when i read they had gone back to the mama.
ReplyDeleteI really need to get these babies adopted out!!
ReplyDeleteIs that poor mama a victim, an unwitting accomplice or what?
ReplyDeleteI think she's an unwitting accomplice. If she was really against nursing them, she'd unsheath her claws and let 'em have it.
ReplyDelete