Skip to main content

My Near Death Experience

It began when our computer wouldn't connect to the Internet. You'd have thought that I, personally, had reinstated the Spanish Inquisition (no one expects the Spanish Inquisition!!) and was torturing my very own children.

I swear it wasn't my fault. I still don't know why it won't work.

Husband: "Did you pay the Internet bill?"
Me: "Yes"
Husband: "Are you sure?"
Me: "Yes, as our cable and Internet are on the same bill and our cable is still
working, right?"
Husband: "Hmm. Did you unhook anything?"
Me: "Now why would I unhook anything?"

It was then that my teenagers wanted to know what I'd done to the computer. Why is it that everything is my fault even when it isn't my fault? I mean really.

It was kind of nice after the second day. We began communicating with each other more. My daughter text messaged me more than she usually does. If that's not a sign of family togetherness, I don't know what is. Of course my son just grunted at me as he walked by as he usually did, so no significant changes there. My two youngest couldn't get on their favorite websites and were forced to spend more time with their parental units as well. Allison baked her first cake all on her own and the rest of them joined in to consume said cake.

All in all, not a bad thing. Perhaps I shouldn't tell them we have access again.

Comments

  1. Bring out . . . . . the comfy pillows!

    ReplyDelete
  2. OK, this must have been a rough week for me - it's nothing but one liners.

    Hey Torquemada, whadya say?
    I just got back from the auto de fe.
    Auto de fe, what's the auto de fe?
    It's something that you shouldn't but you do anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yes Pamela, you are so right. My wife sits and watches the telly while I surf through cyberspace. I never phone my kids and the only friends I have I never meet because they are all in my imagination.
    My humour has degenerated into filth because I know no-one that I share it with will ever find out who I am.
    Oh for those far-off days when the community came together and made polite conversation, and I spent time talking to the missus. No Bollocks, I prefer this!

    ReplyDelete
  4. 'Not the comfy chair!!"

    Tom, I understand where you're coming from. This medium of communication has a modicum of anonymity that frees you from the usual constraints of personal interaction. Having said that, there are ways we can track you down.

    I'm just saying.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Pamela, there are ways you can track him down, but I doubt whether anyone would benefit.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Pam,

    I've got a friend in the NSA . . . . .

    ReplyDelete
  7. Pamela, until further notice you get only the inhibited version of me. I'm just wondering if you can track me down - what if I innocently stirred up some bunny boiler (not you of course) who sought me out and proceeded to turn my whole life into total chaos (as opposed to partial chaos as it is now). Now I'm really freaking out.

    ReplyDelete
  8. NSA? Hmm. He might come in handy.

    Tom, I'm partial to going full throttle on the chaos. Why do something half way? So, what's your phone number again? ::evil grin::

    Vicus, would it be better if I were to hunt you down instead?

    ReplyDelete
  9. Pamela, I'm pretty certain you would prefer Vicus to me. His phone no. is 0441469 221345.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Phew, that was close!

    ReplyDelete
  11. It's closer than you think Tom. You're not out of the woods just yet.

    Since I don't know either of you very well, perhaps we could hold some sort of contest to see which one of you would be more fun to stalk in all my spare time.

    Oh, and Vicus, answer the phone.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Pamela, no need to hold a competition. Vicus is the one for you. You will like everything about him. And in terms of your career it could well be the best move you ever make. Being by his side would surely change your life forever.
    I'm praying for you baby!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Tom, if I didn't know better I'd say you were trying to dump me. Are you? Oh, and do you have any cute little pet bunny rabbits about?

    ReplyDelete
  14. Pamela, it's not that I'm trying to dump you, it's just that I feel I need my own space. Perhaps I'll feel differently if I can shake off all these other hot women that are always hassling me - I can only be in any one place at any one time you know. I mean imagine how I feel. God you're all so demanding.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Tom, I'm sure you are the object of desire for a multitude of women. Having said that, you and I both know who deserves your attention.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Oh God, I thought I'd got out of this and now I've got right back into it. Where's bloody Vicus when you need him.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Vicus can't help you now, Tom.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Pamela, OK, I didn't want to tell you this but you've backed me into a very tight corner. I've got hairy ears, seriously hairy, and I don't trim them.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hmmmm. You know what they say about men with very hairy ears, don't you?

    You big tease you!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Go ahead....tell me the truth :)

Popular posts from this blog

A Poem to an Abusive Man

I've been doing a bit of research on abuse, domestic violence and how it usually ends. It's not pretty and it's painful and I hurt every time I read another woman's tale of horror.

Did you know that emotional abuse is as detrimental as physical abuse? And that most emotional abusers continue on to become physical abusers? I didn't. I do now. I found a site where formerly abused women, on the path to recovery from their abusers, have written poems. This one below is one that haunted me.

Thank You

You wooed me with poetry
I bit on the hook
Had I only first read
The name of the book

I would have avoided
The very first page
For pages kept turning
Revealing the rage

The ups were a great high
The ride was a bash
But I rode with my eyes closed
To avoid seeing the crash
I knew it would come soon
But I never knew when
The rage and the leaving
And the path to the end

You had to control things
Determined you would
Emotionally destroying me
Every way that you could

I'll Love You Forever, I'll Like You For Always...

I rely on the kindness of strangers...

Or not so much strangers as readers of my miserable blog.

I received a beautiful card in the mail from my long-tine reader (perhaps my ONLY reader) that lifted my heart. Thank you, G. Parkes. It was kind of you to think of me. Seriously---you are so sweet. Thank you.

Perhaps we can meet in person one day. I'll be in Utah after Conference. We'll see how it goes.

I've been caring for my autistic grandson since July. It seems longer sometimes---and that's not a complaint. I adore this little man. He holds my heart. He fills my arms and my heart in the way that my own small babies used to do. When mine reached the age where they didn't want to be in my arms any longer, I felt their absence. Their absence from my arms was heavier than actually having them in my arms. It was an ache that is difficult to describe, a phantom pain where something once was but now is no longer.

Before my husband and I went to the cabin th…

I'm Sick. And the election isn't helping.

I spoke too soon about feeling better. My grandson was delightful enough to share his virus with me, so I've spent the past five days losing everything from both ends. It hasn't been pretty.

As a weight loss program though...

At least one end of me has stopped spewing. Now I wait for the other end to stop pretending to be filled with hot lava and erupting without much notice. Sorry, this is what is called over-sharing. Apparently I'm very good at it. You're welcome.

Last night I walked around the block with hubby and our adorable puppy. It was the first time I've been out of the house in five days. It was lovely, even though I was very shaky. Today I actually tried to accomplish something. I sat at my jewelry table, moved my seaglass around. Picked up pieces and played them through my hands. Such beautfy that came from something considered useless garbage and tossed away. I love my sea glass. It gives me the happies.

I also had a severe case of J…