It's like this...

This was day.....Day 21. I was woefully inadequate in my counting. My days got mixed up. And this was the very last day we had to get up and be at the hospital at 9 a.m. Wild Applause!!!! Ashley snuggled into her daddy while we waited for everything to start. Today was a day of therapy for the first hour or so, then testing and measuring the differences in their before and after dexterity and strength. The third hour was to be the final swim of the program but was canceled due to something unmentionable happening in the pool. Before I tell you about the day, I want to show you Mickey. He used to sit near the entrance of the hospital and when we'd come in my children would say "hello Mickey!" and when we'd leave they would say "Goodbye Mickey!" and give him a hug. He was kind of a given---a constant if you will, for us. Yes, I know it's quite sad that my children had such a relationship with a wooden figure. When they were a little older we got them r...

Although we're not done with the program until tomorrow, they removed the casts today. It was amusing as we had the girls stand there in the waiting room to take a few last pictures with their casts on. They smiled and posed. Then I asked them to raise their casts. Then I asked them to put them down. Now up again! Then I asked them to do the Hokey Pokey and they wouldn't! It was off to find scissors and being the joyful removal. Peggy found her inner fiend as she prepared to cut. Ashley looks a bit frightened. Peggy got hold of herself and did the cutting properly. No blood was spilled. Look!!! I have an arm again!! Then it was off to the bathroom to take care of Stinky Arm. A good washing was in order. We left them to their work after that and decided to leave the hospital to get the suburban washed. I had no idea it was free car wash day at Brown Bear and was happy to take advantage of that freebie. Then we got lost on Magnolia and ended up hitting up the Essential ...

Or so I believe. I'm unbelievable tired right now so don't expect witty from me in this post. Expect the opposite with lots of spelling and grammatical errors tossed in for good measure. Lance will read this tomorrow and correct my mistakes. Off to the hospital and waiting for the therapists to show up. Last night Ash got a pretty green addition to her cast---green duct tape! Then it was off in the elevator with her pal and fellow CIT camper, Devon. Hubby and I took off for the parent resource room where I'd managed to secure him a massage for his birthday after all. Well, a day late but hey. She said we could split it in half--half for me, half for him, but I said no. He needed it and I wanted him to feel good. After things were getting near the end we went downstairs to secure a table in the cafeteria because that place is insane at noon. Lance held on to the table while I went to check on Ashley. She was painting! I could tell they'd been drawing before that be...

Some people would take their significant other out to a fancy restaurant for their birthday. Some might even take them to an exotic locale for a weekend getaway. I always take the unexpected and less-thrilling options. I took Lance to a pea patch for his birthday. AND I made him buy me a scone before we went. I know. I know. It's life on the edge. Try not to be jealous. Seriously though, it was an amazingly beautiful place and it was wonderful to spend the morning outside of the hospital for a change. Oh, in my defense, I DID finally get him a massage today. See? I can be nice.

I'm losing track of time. Not surprising really. I'll get back on track when school begins next week I'm sure. Then I'll be looking at calendars all day. Obsessively. But again...I digress. I was not allowed to post pictures from yesterday because the laptop and the computer were both in constant use by my children and when they were done with them I was too tired to finish posting things. So, to finish what I began yesterday. I didn't get to see much of what they did for therapy because I wasn't with them too long. They started out on the third floor room doing some indoor ball playing with the group. I watched for a bit then went on to do some work upstairs. After therapy was over we met up with some dear friends from Wonderland---Marybeth and her daughter Cailie. We've been friends since our girls were babies together and it was good to spend some time together. They looked at the fish tanks in the cafeteria while we sat and talked. Cailie is 11 an...

Oh yeah, Day 15. Wow. I'm here at the hospital with Ashley. It's funny when the check in people look at you and welcome you by name. I got tired of answering the same questions every day I've been here so I started off by answering all their questions before they asked them. Today Ashley gets some pet therapy and she was excited about that part of today. I'll post some pictures later in the day when I get home. And now....back to working on curriculum.

Trapped. Held. Stuck. No possible way out no matter how I struggle. I'm so tired of beating my wings against the immovable. So exhausted, heart and soul. Trapped. **************************** And in other areas of my heart... I was thinking tonight about a lot of things. I wonder if I'm doing enough or am I doing too much for Ashley? I talked to one of the moms at the hospital this week about the things she has her daughter doing. She's a right sided hemi just like Ashley and she's knitting and playing piano. Knitting! She has made a couple of scarves and she is taking piano lessons from a teacher who has written one handed music for her to play. I'm not doing enough. Not in those areas. I feel so inadequate. I feel like a failure. I'm failing her. And then....am I doing too much for her in other areas? Helping her dress? Feeding her? I have had to do more in those areas since we began this difficult therapy but am I doing too much? Giving her...

I got up before the family this morning an took Cassie out for a bit of a walk and then to the garden. I picked these beauties I also picked some blueberries and blackberries. There are some tomatoes ready to be plucked but I'll hold off on those beauties until dinner tonight and then I'll grab them. The fresher the better! I'm making a rice and zucchini dish (with onions, garlic and shrimp) for our old neighborhood barbecue/potluck this afternoon. We miss that neighborhood so much...wish we'd never left. But I digress. It's cool and overcast and that spells HEAVEN to me! And yes, I AM a born and raised Seattle girl. Bring on the rain!

Friday! Yay Friday! Lance went with us to the hospital today, which was nice. I hate being down there by myself. The girls spent the hour of camp up in the pt/ot therapy unit and Ashley worked on something that I can't talk about because it's something for her Daddy for his birthday and he reads this blog. Hear that Daddy? You can't know! (I'll post a picture of the present next week when it's completed and he's seen it already) Just FYI, it's a FAB PRESENT! Next they went downstairs for a rousing game of Apples to Apples. They seem to love this game. I can tell from the giggles and laughter coming from the Teen Room where they're playing it. (I also loved the signs on the walls in there that say if a parent is not accompanied by a teen then they are to be removed and sent back to their room) Lance and I spent some time outside in the play area. There was lots of cool stuff to play with and the ground was squishy. I love squishy ground! Lance p...

Sooooo hard to get out of bed this morning. I wanted to pull the covers over my head and not move for a few more hours---but we all know I roused myself and got up. Having hubby working the swing shift and getting home at midnight each night is not conducive to early rising. Although Ash was asleep when he got home, I was still awake and then we lay in bed talking for a few hours. Bad us. We should have just gone to sleep. We've never been known to do the smart thing. So, the morning was a sleepy one but we made it to the hospital in plenty of time. Ashley and Devon, one of the girls with her in CIT camp, are becoming friends. They're close in age and in the same grade. albeit in different school districts. I'm hopeful they will maintain their friendship. Here they are this morning playing an old computer game at the beginning of their day. It's an old game but they enjoyed it. It involved cards that are placed in the monitor space and then they have to push but...

You know how a small child will cup your face in their hands and pull you close? Look in your eyes? Remember your little ones doing that? Ashley never could because her hand wouldn't turn that way. She could put the back of her hand on my cheek, but not the palm. Last night she cupped my face----and I cried. Today is day ten. Her progress is astounding to me. Truly. We rode the elevator down to the third floor to a new room this morning. Once we got there, Ashley helped put up some paper so they could draw on it with markers. She went to work on a tub with some rice and toys in it. Her job was to remove the small objects from the rice. Peggy belongs to Ashley for the first hour of each day and Ashley is thrilled. I'm so grateful we've found Peggy. I walk the hospital sometimes while Ashley is doing her therapy. Though Children's has changed much in the twenty years since we began this adventure that is parenthood---some things haven't changed and I can'...