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To Move, Or Not To Move. That Is The Freaking Question.

In April it will have been two years since we purchased a soul-less home. Don't get me wrong, it's a very nice soul-less home. It's huge and it's brand new and I should be happy here. I'm not. Two years of living in a pretty prison. We moved here because hubby got a job here. A month after moving here, he lost that job. Things haven't been good for us financially since that point (shakes fist at Boeing in general) Here's a picture of our new home.


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Here is our old home.


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Our old home was getting too small for us. With four children and three bedrooms, we were sleeping in the family room. The windows needed replacing and the deck needed a lot of work, but we had nearly half an acre of land and the neighbors weren't so close that we could hear them breathing at night. That's not the case here. The houses are built so very close, they have no character, no soul. It's not that this town so far south of my beloved Seattle isn't a good town, it's ....just not my town.

I want to go home.

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Thank You

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For pages kept turning
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I heard a loud thud the other morning around 3:30 a.m. I checked my monitor but he'd once again turned it to the wall so I was unable to see if he was still in bed. I went downstairs right behind my sweet husband and dad was on the living room floor moaning and holding his head. He'd fallen. Hard.


The first picture is the day of the fall. The second is the day after. The black eye keeps blossoming. He has a gash on his head, hidden by his silver hair and he skinned his shoulder/arm. He's a mess.

Was he using his walker? Nope. 85 year old toddlers cannot be told what to do. Or rather, they can be told what to do, they simply won't comply. Ever. In fact they get down right angry and throw fits. It's not pretty.

His physical therapist came to the house the next day and strongly told him to use his walker EACH TIME HE STOOD UP. Has he? Nope. Nyet. He was very angry with me yesterday because I kept asking him to use his walker. Also, I asked him i…

Back

BACK

Back on the horse
Monkey on his back
I see no light
Not even a crack
Back to delusions
Back to the lies
I see through his words
He can't hear my cries

Back into his soul
Back into his veins
The poison he pours
Dark liquid his chains

Backed into a corner
Heartbroken and torn
Back into the needle
The eye of the storm

Back to the wall
Soul bruised torn and broken
Back to my pain
His eyes half open

Back into the horror
Will he ever come back
Back into the nightmare
A needle in a sack

Back into his childhood
I loved him with fury
Looking back on his life
His choices my jury

How did this happen
Back to evil and sin
How can he do this
Lines on his skin

Back to my weeping
Back to my sorrow
My son, my love,
Has no more tomorrows
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