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One Door Closes....

...and another one opens, right?

Sometimes not. Sometimes there is a very hard, enormously large brick wall. No doors. No windows.

I didn't get my job. I say 'my' job, but it wasn't really. I don't believe the powers that be, and that goes all the way to the very top, appreciated my vocal, albeit kindly worded, encouragement of more hours added to the position to care for the homeless students. It took them seven years to realize that the person taking care of these most at risk students should be a full time person, not a three hour a day person. Then they let me go.

I'm incredibly sad. And not entirely sure what to do with this gigantic brick wall facing me.

I'm lost.


  1. My dear girl!! You need to go volunteer at the nearest elementary school, or go to the bishops storehouse...something to get you out of your house and away from the thoughts that are crowding in on you. When you serve others, you can forget yourself for a little while, and that includes all the pain and angst that is in your life. :( I'm so sorry you lost your job...there are tons in my school district, but I don't think you want to move to Utah...not with our weather, lol.
    I dropped my youngest BABY! off at Job Corp yesterday. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done, and my hubby and I have both been emotional about it. We are going on faith, as the Bishop and everyone else has said the program has changed, it's clean, it will be good for him, yada yada. I've decided to put my trust in the Lord and let him live his life. He's 20, turning 21 next month, and is so innocent in regards to many things. He idolizes (or did) his oldest brother who went into the Army and totally tossed all our teachings out the window. (He's the divorced and remarried one with a daughter that lives with mom and is entering kindergarten - I know, more info than you need or prob want, lol) So - I'm really glad I went back to work today, so I could possibly not dwell on the idea of what he might be running into. Only to have one of my co-workers remind me that her daughter worked there for over a year and had a kid steal her car keys from her purse while in class and try to take off with her car...they didn't press charges, but she did and they were upset with her. Sigh. It's not a whole lot different than sending him off to school, and he is REALLY close, like 15 min away, so I'm hoping if anything really bad happens he'll call and let us know. I told Heavenly Father last night that He was the one who decided I needed this child, so he was in His hands. That's a real hard thing to do...cut the umbilical cord when I've been doing it all for 20 years. But then, you know that feeling too.
    Anyway...sorry to gab your ears off...or rather, waste your reading time (which in my opinion is pretty precious, lol) Just had to tell someone, as I've managed not to break down in front of anyone but hubby yet. Some days I really wish the second coming were here, ya know? Anyway, hope your eyes are doing better, or that you're finding a way of coping. Perhaps you could listen to conference, or get a book on CD or something...Chris Heimerdinger is awesome to listen to. :)
    Take care...I'm here. (in a nice NON-stalker kind of way... )


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