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I am Abinadab

I may have spelled that incorrectly, as I don't have access to the notes I took yesterday while reading the scriptures. However, he was in prison with Nephi and Lehi--decendants of Lehi and Sariah. They had been tossed into prison and were about to be seized by the guards to be put to death. Abinidab was a dissenter from the church but when he saw Nephi and Lehi encircled about by fire, actually being in the center of the flames and saw that they were not burned but instead were conversing with messengers from heaven, he repented. He began to call others to repentence. He rediscovered his faith.

I have not seen missionairies encircled by fire. I have not been in prison, except of my own making. I have not lost my faith but I seemed to have put it on pause for a bit. I have allowed the world to shake me and circumstances beyond my control have caused me to pull back. I was tired. Exhausted. Unable to find my footing. And while I am still very tender and brokenhearted, I have at least begun to seek the balm of the spirit through scripture and prayer to bring my spirit back to health.

I heve denied it nourishment for far too long and am seeking ways to feed it once again.

I know He knows me. I know He hears my prayers. I do not know the reasons behind these blocks in my path, but I know that I can overcome them with His help.

I alone hold the key to my prison.

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Back

BACK

Back on the horse
Monkey on his back
I see no light
Not even a crack
Back to delusions
Back to the lies
I see through his words
He can't hear my cries

Back into his soul
Back into his veins
The poison he pours
Dark liquid his chains

Backed into a corner
Heartbroken and torn
Back into the needle
The eye of the storm

Back to the wall
Soul bruised torn and broken
Back to my pain
His eyes half open

Back into the horror
Will he ever come back
Back into the nightmare
A needle in a sack

Back into his childhood
I loved him with fury
Looking back on his life
His choices my jury

How did this happen
Back to evil and sin
How can he do this
Lines on his skin

Back to my weeping
Back to my sorrow
My son, my love,
Has no more tomorrows
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