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Less is More

As I scour every nook and cranny of our beautiful home in preparation for moving, I have made several discoveries. I know you're dying to know what those discoveries are, aren't you? Of course you are. Here they are, in no particular order.

* Posters on the walls of teenagers can be used to hide holes. LARGE holes that have been made in the walls. The more posters, the more holes they can hide. It's akin to prison inmates who hide their tunneling-to-freedom holes behind posters, ala The Shawshank Redemption.

* Papers, if left to themselves, will procreate, multiply and multiply again ad nauseam. Especially if you leave them in the dark of a walk-in closet inside of a filing cabinet. I think I may have found the birth place of all things paper.

*Un-paired socks do it just to taunt you. I have been taunted nigh unto hyperventilation. Baskets of these little buggers have appeared in all bedrooms. If they think I'm taking them with me when we move, they better think again. Hear me single socks? You'd better pair up or you're going in the garbage.

*Time begins to flow at an altered rate when you have a deadline. It's always been that way of course, but when you're going to move and you've planned a garage sale before moving and you set the actual date for the garage sale, time speeds up. Don't fret--you're never going to get everything done that you think you are going to accomplish. Bask in your failure. Revel in it.

*Accept the fact that things are not going to go your way no matter how hard you try. You are officially running in quicksand and there will not be a happy resolution. Accept your fate.

Our garage sale is Friday. It's going to be a disaster of epic proportions. You should all come and laugh at me. Go ahead, you know you want to.


  1. Perhaps you should sell baskets off odd socks. You never know, Long John Silver might be passing.

    Commiserations. I'm busy packing, and throwing heaps away, ready for my move next month.

  2. I must have missed that you're moving! Where are you going?

    And may all your single socks find matches!

  3. Gosh, you've missed a lot. I've been forced to take early retirement (I know, I'm only a child) because of my health. I'm moving 40 miles south, to be closer to my children.

  4. Is this a good thing? Being closer to your children? I hope so. And I hope your health improves.

    We're moving close to my father too---so close that we'll be in the same house. Oh yes, let the fun begin!

  5. Close to them, but still about 5 miles away. I'm not sure we'd survive for long in the same house.

    So, did you sell all the socks?

  6. I tossed them into the garbage. Well, some of them. The rest await their fate in various baskets.


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