I'm home from church today.... I was greatly looking forward to going, for two reasons; One, my husband is speaking and two, my older sister Cheri is coming. It would have been wonderful.
However, my place is here at home, keeping my child safe and watching over her. There is no manual for us, as the parents of this very unique and troubled child. There just isn't. We do what we think is right, we pray and pray and pray for guidance. And sometimes....we wonder where the 'joy in our posterity' is to be found. Struggles overwhelm us, as we try to find that joy in small moments. Sadly, they are few and far between. Still, we try.
Last night Lance and I sat down with some very dear friends of ours. Their struggles are difficult and some of theirs are like ours, so we had much to talk about. It felt wonderful to talk with someone who understands, someone who is going through the parenting trenches with children who have special needs, and with a typical child thrown in for fun. Oh the fun! It was cathartic to talk about it with a couple who gets it. And although we can't know the pain and heartbreak equal to theirs, or theirs to ours, we laughed and tried our best not to cry as we spoke about what is happening. Ok, it might just have been me that was trying not to cry. I think I managed quite well. It's a measure of how far I've come that I can even speak about it without dissolving into a slobbering, weeping mess. Go me. Plus, I don't want to end up in the hospital again. I'm pretty sure what happened to me was a result of the extraordinary stress I've been under. The doctors said it was a very rare occurrence, but I'm unwilling to take that chance. Remaining calm and centering myself with prayer seems to help. It's not easy, but I'm doing my best
Because they have such complicated and busy lives, as do we, there was so much to catch up on. When I pulled my shirt aside, my friend saw I was hooked up to a heart monitor. She threw up her hands and said, "OOOOH, We have SOOOO much to talk about!!" And she was right. Her husband had undergone some scary surgery, my husband was just coming out of three surgeries and ten months of horror, on top of our regularly scheduled programming.
Sharing burdens lightens them, even if it's just talking about them. So at times we have felt like this poor donkey. but because we have so many people that lift us up in prayer, so many people that share our burdens, we are able to keep our feet planted firmly on the ground and move forward with faith.
Thank you....you know who you are.