Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Our Life is a Country Song--No, Seriously

In the past ten months, our family has experienced the following:

1. Three Northwest Hospital ER visits.
2. Eighteen Children’s Hospital ER visits.
3. Three surgeries on an Achilles tendon.
4. One surgery lengthening an arm tendon and transferring two other tendons.
5. One lovely ride in a Medic One
6. A bone infection due to a root canal gone terribly wrong.
7. Two oral surgeries.
8. Four hospital stays
9. One Harborview ER visit
10. Our car’s transmission went out so we are down to one vehicle, meaning I get up at the crack of Didn’t-I-just-go-sleep, take hubby to work, come home and get two offspring up. I take one to high school, one to middle school. I go to work, go pick up my husband, pick up high schooler, pick up middle schooler, lather, rinse and repeat ad nauseam.
11. We lost our beautiful home....and
12. Our dog died.

Toss in an unwed pregnancy and our lives just became a country song---without the beer of course. Or the gun rack in the pickup truck. Mostly because we have neither the truck nor any guns to put on a rack. We’ve been pondering the gun thing lately---but with so much fun in our lives we’re afraid it would simply add to our, er, fun. And by fun, I mean tragedy and hospital visits. There are a few more things that have happened to us in the past ten months, but they are too painful and personal to share here. Just use your imaginations. I dare ya.

Because of our particular situation with one child, my husband and I have not spent any time together in….oh, let’s say a decade. All right, it might not be a decade but it’s pretty close. Sometimes we bump into each other in bed and when I say bump, I mean he tosses an arm or a leg over at me and I instantly go into a menopausal hot flash so fierce that it would take the paint off of a car, thus necessitating that I throw all blankets off, sweat profusely until the hot flash is over and then hopefully go back to sleep.

The sleep part of our lives hasn’t been great either. Last night I didn’t sleep. I knew I had to get up at 3:30 a.m. to drive hubby to work, so the harder I tried to fall asleep, the less sleepy I felt. I didn’t want to take something because then I’d be groggy as I drove. It was a win-win situation for my brain. It went whirring around like a dervish, darting from one bad experience to another, bouncing around like a ball in a pinball machine.

Did I pay the water bill? How come I’m never the one that can find Waldo. Ooooh, Hawaii sounds nice. Warm air, sand and…how can our cat snore so loudly in his face and not wake him up? I shouldn’t have sent that text but I’ve reached the end of my rope and there’s no knot to hang on to. Readers Knot---that’s the name of Lori’s book club. Wish I had a book---those poor children in Oklahoma. Those poor parents---my heart breaks for them. How are we going to get a new car….two cars. I can’t be in two places at once—or three for that matter, although there’s probably enough of me to make that happen were it possible. Those green peppers are going south—better use them in the morning for the girl’s breakfast. Need to vacuum. I wonder what’s on CNN…

On and on it goes. I’ve always had a lovely Attention Deficit Disorder side---which affects every part of my life, including my dreams. And my writing. Did I mention my writing? Yeah, that too. SQUIRREL!

Anyway, I'm going to try and write a country song from my list of Fun Things That We've Had Happen. Once I take a nap.


  1. You don't put guns in the gun rack. You put fishin' poles!

  2. Annalee6:51 PM

    and if you use the real flexible part at the top, it's not assault with a deadly weapon. Well, At least not in Iowa.

  3. We're up three more ER visits since this post.

    And I don't have fishing poles. Or guns.


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