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Beach and Vikings and Hummingbirds, Oh My!

Eagles, hummingbirds, bluejays, seagulls, ducks, Herons, crows, gold finches, seahawkes, red winged black birds, crabs, sea lions and vikings are just a few of the wild life we saw this weekend while at the beach cabin.

The only surprise were the vikings.

The tide was fairly high when we arrived. The ferry line was long---but we didn't mind. Our destination is always worth the wait. I've not been well all week and so this was just as much a time for me to rest as it was for the four of us to get away from the city and let go of the stress for a few days.

The weather cooperated, for the most part. It rained at night and gave us beautiful days. I slept a lot, or sat in a nice beach chair in the sand with a blanket and my Kindle.
I walked a bit when I felt up to it and collected some beautiful sea glass. Do you see the rose colored glass? That's a rare find. Later I also found cobalt blue and light blue, both unusual. I'd love to find some red glass some day.

Ashley walked the beach--loving the fact that numerous Gooey Ducks would squirt water up at her bare legs. Every time she squealed in delight I laughed. She's twelve....soon she'll be too cool for these things with her mom. I hold on tight to these memories.

The first night we decided to get Grub Hut for dinner (Thanks for introducing that place to us, Doug!) Here's Alli enjoying her meal with a great view.

When we were on the ferry home tonight, I could feel it. The tension coming back. The closer to traffic and people and responsibilities we got, the tighter I became.

Breathe, Pam. Breathe.

This week is going to be a killer.

As I deal with the homeless youth in our school district, and the immigrant families (I am the only one of *me* in our district) I feel as though I am the RS President for the entire place--sans excellent counselors and helpful and hard working volunteers. I'm putting on two separate events this week--one at one high school and another at the other high school. Both should have upwards of more than a hundred people coming to each event. I was laid out sick in bed the entire last week. Now you might understand the return of my tension.

Wish me luck!


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A Poem to an Abusive Man

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Did you know that emotional abuse is as detrimental as physical abuse? And that most emotional abusers continue on to become physical abusers? I didn't. I do now. I found a site where formerly abused women, on the path to recovery from their abusers, have written poems. This one below is one that haunted me.

Thank You

You wooed me with poetry
I bit on the hook
Had I only first read
The name of the book

I would have avoided
The very first page
For pages kept turning
Revealing the rage

The ups were a great high
The ride was a bash
But I rode with my eyes closed
To avoid seeing the crash
I knew it would come soon
But I never knew when
The rage and the leaving
And the path to the end

You had to control things
Determined you would
Emotionally destroying me
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Elderly Abuse

I heard a loud thud the other morning around 3:30 a.m. I checked my monitor but he'd once again turned it to the wall so I was unable to see if he was still in bed. I went downstairs right behind my sweet husband and dad was on the living room floor moaning and holding his head. He'd fallen. Hard.

The first picture is the day of the fall. The second is the day after. The black eye keeps blossoming. He has a gash on his head, hidden by his silver hair and he skinned his shoulder/arm. He's a mess.

Was he using his walker? Nope. 85 year old toddlers cannot be told what to do. Or rather, they can be told what to do, they simply won't comply. Ever. In fact they get down right angry and throw fits. It's not pretty.

His physical therapist came to the house the next day and strongly told him to use his walker EACH TIME HE STOOD UP. Has he? Nope. Nyet. He was very angry with me yesterday because I kept asking him to use his walker. Also, I asked him i…



Back on the horse
Monkey on his back
I see no light
Not even a crack
Back to delusions
Back to the lies
I see through his words
He can't hear my cries

Back into his soul
Back into his veins
The poison he pours
Dark liquid his chains

Backed into a corner
Heartbroken and torn
Back into the needle
The eye of the storm

Back to the wall
Soul bruised torn and broken
Back to my pain
His eyes half open

Back into the horror
Will he ever come back
Back into the nightmare
A needle in a sack

Back into his childhood
I loved him with fury
Looking back on his life
His choices my jury

How did this happen
Back to evil and sin
How can he do this
Lines on his skin

Back to my weeping
Back to my sorrow
My son, my love,
Has no more tomorrows
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