It's like this...

I have been listening more and more to The Mormon Channel . It's inspiring talks, music and videos. All uplifting and oh so welcome in my life. The other day I heard the song below---and I fell in love with it. The lyrics touched my heart. As I watch my little birds grow and leave my nest. I cannot find a video of the song---but I will keep trying. The group is called One Clear Voice , and they are amazing. My Nest The day has come for you to go I've watched you closely so I know I recognize your restlessness It's time for you to leave the nest I've taught you much of what you know It's been a joy to see you grow You fluttered first, then learned to fly While I was flying by your side A part of me will fly away As you leave my nest today But part of you will stay with me You will always be a welcome guest Within my nest You've had brief chances to explore That left you eager to see more You've taken tiny solo flights but ...

It's funny to me that I only made one blog post during the month of June---and it's already the 10th of July and I've yet to post. You're welcome. For me not clogging up your Blog feed. Very, very welcome. School is out and so is work. Well, school district work for me. I've been hired as a contractor for the PSESD to edit and add content to a website they are launching in conjunction with Columbia Legal Services. It's a website to help homeless youth and those who care or work with them. I have enjoyed it immensely. I was going into my office to do the work because the chair I have at home at the computer cripples me if I sit in it for any length of time. Seriously---on Monday night I worked in that chair and I was unable to even lift my legs up to bring them up on my bed that evening. So, the only thing keeping me from working at home was the chair, right? Of course right. Yesterday I purchased a very nice chair. A wonderful chair. A chair t...

I'm still standing, after all this time.... Today I have made a decison. For me. To let go of all the toxic people and things in my life. I cannot forget---oh that I could----but I can choose not to let other people's decisions tear at my heart and my soul. I can walk away. I can and I will. From now on I will let go of the pain and the heartache I have allowed to seep into my soul. I am only responsible for my decisions. I will only keep people in my life that do not use me, abuse me, or bring me down. I will walk in faith, knowing that everything is in His hands and give the control over to Him. I will not be hurt by other people's opinions of me. It's my opinion that counts---not theirs. I cannot save anyone--only He can. I will not dwell on painful experiences. I will seek His peace more fully in my life. I will be happy. I will write what I darn well please. When I please. When I am feeling overwhelmed, I will walk away. I will serve my hus...

I've been doing a bit of research on abuse, domestic violence and how it usually ends. It's not pretty and it's painful and I hurt every time I read another woman's tale of horror. Did you know that emotional abuse is as detrimental as physical abuse? And that most emotional abusers continue on to become physical abusers? I didn't. I do now. I found a site where formerly abused women, on the path to recovery from their abusers, have written poems. This one below is one that haunted me. Thank You You wooed me with poetry I bit on the hook Had I only first read The name of the book I would have avoided The very first page For pages kept turning Revealing the rage The ups were a great high The ride was a bash But I rode with my eyes closed To avoid seeing the crash I knew it would come soon But I never knew when The rage and the leaving And the path to the end You had to control things Determined you would Emotionally destroying me...

In the past ten months, our family has experienced the following: 1. Three Northwest Hospital ER visits. 2. Eighteen Children’s Hospital ER visits. 3. Three surgeries on an Achilles tendon. 4. One surgery lengthening an arm tendon and transferring two other tendons. 5. One lovely ride in a Medic One 6. A bone infection due to a root canal gone terribly wrong. 7. Two oral surgeries. 8. Four hospital stays 9. One Harborview ER visit 10. Our car’s transmission went out so we are down to one vehicle, meaning I get up at the crack of Didn’t-I-just-go-sleep, take hubby to work, come home and get two offspring up. I take one to high school, one to middle school. I go to work, go pick up my husband, pick up high schooler, pick up middle schooler, lather, rinse and repeat ad nauseam. 11. We lost our beautiful home....and 12. Our dog died. Toss in an unwed pregnancy and our lives just became a country song---without the beer of course. Or the gun rack in the pickup truck. ...

I'm home from church today.... I was greatly looking forward to going, for two reasons; One, my husband is speaking and two, my older sister Cheri is coming. It would have been wonderful. However, my place is here at home, keeping my child safe and watching over her. There is no manual for us, as the parents of this very unique and troubled child. There just isn't. We do what we think is right, we pray and pray and pray for guidance. And sometimes....we wonder where the 'joy in our posterity' is to be found. Struggles overwhelm us, as we try to find that joy in small moments. Sadly, they are few and far between. Still, we try. Last night Lance and I sat down with some very dear friends of ours. Their struggles are difficult and some of theirs are like ours, so we had much to talk about. It felt wonderful to talk with someone who understands, someone who is going through the parenting trenches with children who have special needs, and with a typical chil...

I'm going to be brutally honest with all of you. Well, all two of you that may have continued to read my blog. I hope that once you read this, you will continue to be my friends and/or family. I DO NOT LIKE MOTHER'S DAY I really don't. Not anymore. Oh, there were times I loved the celebration of my being a mom, when my four offspring were younger. I remember little handprints on papers in bright colors, crafty mother's day gifts from elementary school that my babies were dying to give to me. Some couldn't wait until Sunday and I was given those gifts as they climbed down from their yellow school buses the Friday before a Mother's Day. Eyes bright with the joy of giving me something they had made themselves. There were breakfasts in bed. One Mother's Day my two youngest girls slaved in the kitchen and brought me a plate of food that did not in fact look like something edible. Since they knew my favorite color was pink, they used some food colori...