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Tired...

It's 11 at night and my new neighbors are dumping their glass recycle into their bins under my bedroom window. It's noisy and just a little irritating. It's also their pattern. Each night it's the same. Each and every night.

It's not that I'm asleep at that hour----because I'm not---it's that my husband is. He has to go to sleep early because he gets up at the crack of holy-crap-it-can't-be-morning-already. And it's not. Morning, I mean. He gets up before the birds do.

My new neighbors are noisy but that's not why I'm tired. My baby girl keeps me awake. Or wakes me up. Or keeps me up. Worry about what's going on with her and why she's suffering so much.

The last three weeks have been less than fun. Doctors and tests and pain and angst and worry. Does she have blood clots? More damage? No, CT scan shows no more brain damage than what was already caused by the stroke. Small blood clots? Maybe. Ulcers? Won't know until the endoscopy. Sudden onset migraines? Dunno. Let's give her four more prescriptions and see if anything stops the pain.

Side effects from one med to be negated and treated with yet another med. Round and round we go...where it stops, nobody knows.

So, I'm tired. Though I did sleep a great deal today. Mostly because every time I got up the world went round and round like I was on a carnival ride. I don't like carnival rides. I actually dislike them. A lot.

It's an odd sensation when the world is out of whack.

It feels out of whack in more ways than just my equilibrium. I hope there's an answer soon.

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