Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Sadistic Muse

“Tears are words that need to be written.” - Paul Coehlo

Smart man. Excellent writer. A friend of mine on FB shared his picture and this quote, and it resonated with me. I often find I write best when I am in distress. It's as though my muse needs my pain to be called forth.

Ah, what a sadist, my muse.

Christmas this year made me feel a bit off kilter---but not in a bad way. Ok, I did have a horrible case of vertigo which began Thursday night while hubby and I were out on a date. :::gasp::: Yes, we took our annual date. I thought I was managing quite nicely, he told me he thought I'd taken drugs. I guess what I hear about people drinking and trying desperately to act sober must be true. You don't fool anyone. So I've been on some drugs to help me defeat the vertigo, which make me sleepy. Apparently I passed out and missed most of Christmas Eve at my sister's house . Yay me!

On Christmas day we had the sister missionaries over for dinner so they could Skype with their families. It was sweet and tender to see these two young women, far from home to serve the Lord, interact with their loving families. There were tears on all sides---and it was touching. And I mean that---I was deeply touched by their love and devotion to each other. One missionary told me that her mom was her very best friend. I had to suppress a sudden pain in my heart. You see, our two oldest were here, neither of whom consider their father and I more than a nuisance. Neither had asked if they could help with getting the rest of dinner ready. Nothing.

Then we had dinner and our two oldest finished their meal before the rest of us, took their plates to the sink and then said goodbye. Apparently there were things, important things, that needed to be done. Places to go, places that weren't here. People to see, people that weren't us.

So I teared up. I couldn't help it. After just witnessing the joy on the faces of those two families, witnessing their fervent desires to be united with their loved ones, and our two oldest couldn't get out of here fast enough. I know I shouldn't let it bother me....I know I should develop a thicker skin.

And I'm trying---believe me, I'm trying.

I'm pretty sure we didn't raise them to be this way.

So perhaps next year we'll celebrate Festivus instead. You know, the traditional Airing of the Grievances and all that. I'm sure it will be a hit. Either that or my husband an I will leave all of them here and we'll go off to Hawaii.

Merry Christmas.


  1. well said. I vote for Hawaii!

  2. Personally I think Hawaii would be the best bet too!! ;)


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