It's like this...

My niece gave birth to her third baby tonight. We passed part of the evening playing Uno in the waiting room. Here's Stephanie and Allison and Lance playing cards. Allison was plugging her ears because we were being too noisy apparently. She doesn't do well with noise and especially any arguing. Here's Lance and Ashely.... And here's the most wonderful reason we put aside our grand new year's eve party plans. Our newest family member.... As I was walking down the hall from the birthing room, I was crying. One of the nurses asked me if I was ok. I said yes. She followed me a little further and I kept crying. "Are you sure you're ok?" "Yes...I just wish I could turn my teenagers back that small again" "Oh honey.....I totally understand. Boy do I." Sigh.

Exciting, no? No? Well, ok. Today's agenda. Find out why my phone is interfering with my wifi connection. This does not make me happy. I'm #34 in line to chat with an online-customer-care professional. My fervent hope is that they speak enough English for me to understand them. I brought my husband breakfast in bed this morning. He's so sweet....and deserves it far more often. So many things to think about for the coming year-- but nothing I care to write about here for now. Happy New Year!

I woke up this morning and my eyes were aching--a sure sign that things aren't going to go well visually for me today. I did manage to proof ten articles I'd somehow managed to write this week--and found that I must have been on crack when I wrote them. There were an amazing number of incomplete sentences, sentences that made no sense whatsoever and bad grammar abounded. I knew I wasn't thinking clearly last week, but goodness. At any rate.... one ebook off to a client, five articles off to another and the ten uploaded to my site for my subscribers and I think I need to rest my eyes for a bit before they explode. and people don't think I work..... Ha.

Remote Controls and PMS Pamela's column for December 26, 2007 You’d think that after being married for twenty years, my husband would have learned how to catch any subtle hint I may toss his way. Sometimes I’ll shiver and he’ll know I’m cold. Or I’ll suddenly turn bright orange and have flames shooting out the top of my head and he might understand that I’m having a hot flash and know that it’s time to duck, cover and roll. As I said, a husband should just understand the hints that his wife sets before him. Like the one I casually made yesterday. It went something like this: “Get me a remote control that works for the tv or I will kill you” Not subtle enough? Last night in bed we were watching some show and the commercial came on. You know how commercials suddenly raise the volume on the television from just right straight to I will make your ears bleed? Well I was working on my laptop and the noise was deafening and distracting so I asked him to mute it for me. He stuck his ...

I learned it from my daughter. This is Miss Ashley Rose, taken this month at my Aunt Helen's funeral. If you look closely (and you'd have to look closely because it's not easy to see unless you're looking for it) you'll see that her right hand is paralyzed. My little angel had a stroke in the womb. The right side of her body doesn't work like everyone else's does. She has defined courage for me since her birth 9 short years ago. Not expected to walk, much less talk, my baby angel is a walking talking miracle with more courage in her little pinky than most have in their entire, healthy bodies. As most of you know, I've been having some health issues lately. Today I was finally told what's wrong with me. I have Multiple Sclerosis. I will not let it beat me. I have a courageous little angel who has shown me the way and I will not let her down. I can't. I can beat this. I will beat this.

Since we only have one vehicle now (thanks Chris) I drive Lance to work around three every day. Today I drove him the massive 4 minutes to work, then turned around and was pulling out back on to busy 176th and saw a black cloud, a fireball explode into the sky....oh, just about where my house was. Hand over my mouth all I could say was "Oh please Lord...not my house...my children...Oh, oh..oh...." It wasn't my home, thank goodness, but it was close. I'm still not sure what happened, but in the space of just minutes there was no fire and then the entire house was engulfed and burning to the ground. Naturally I took a cellphone video. Perhaps this was the universe's way of showing me, 'see? it CAN be worse!'

Yesterday hubby took me to eye doc. Eye Doc: "Have you been in a car accident recently?" Me: "No" Eye Doc: Have you had a head injury recently?" Me: "No" Eye Doc: "hmmm...." I hate it when they say hmmmm. Eye Doc: "when is your MRI?" Me: "Tomorrow" Eye Doc: "Good" You know the feeling you get after you take cold medicine? Your head feels all big and floaty? Yeah. Only I haven't taken any cold medicine. And my eyes keep going wonky on me. This doesn't make my writing work flow like it usually does. The good news is that my retinas are still attached. Yeah for attached retinas! The bad news is....we don't know. Hmmmm......

But you're going to find out anyway so I might as well share with you my very own personal version of The Twelve Days of Christmas. I'm sure you're thrilled. Go ahead, sing along. After all, it's going to be so festive. No, really. I promise. Break out the eggnog. On the first day of Christmas My cell phone company gave to me notice that my son had texted fourteen hundred times in one week On the second day of Christmas My son gave to me notice that he was failing math On the third day of Christmas my coed called to say You have to come and get me and I'm not flying home alone either! On the fourth day of Christmas my husband said to me The cats have horked in two places and if you don't put them outside I will be killing them soon On the fifth day of Christmas I had a stroke! Fourteen hundred text messages! Son failing math! Girl NOT flying home! Cat hork on carpeting and a stroke in my parietal lobe! On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave me to me...

This is what you'd see..... Festive, no?

I've been working from a local kawfee shop the past few weeks. It helps to get me out of the house so the mattress monster can't suck me back into bed. On Monday I was working for about four hours and I was on a roll.....really getting a lot done. Suddenly my left eye started giving me some weird signals. There was a lovely little circle of flashing colored lights. It started out small and then got bigger and bigger and bigger until it was REALLY festive! So festive in fact that I had trouble seeing anything BUT the blinkie little lights. Wheee! So I did what any sane person would do. I unplugged my laptop, packed it up, got my keys and drove myself home. Yes, I made it. Hubby was not too pleased that I'd done that of course. I was just scared and wanted to get to him. My blinky lights had cleared up by the time the ER doc saw me. The CT scan was fine, as was the bloodwork. Now I'll be having an MRI and a heart echo to see if I'm throwing tiny clots. The...

Happy Holidays! Pamela's column for Pacific Publishing December 5, 2007 As the old year fades and the New Year approaches our thoughts turn to the important things that we ponder every year around this time: can I eat one more frosted sugar cookie in the shape of a Christmas tree and not have the buttons on my shirt turn into projectiles that will take out everyone in the room? Overindulging at this time of year is a big problem, one that causes bigger problems, big being the operative word here. I’ve decided that it’s time to take drastic measures and I’m going to take you with me because I’m too afraid to go alone. I have discovered a way to keep fit and trim and during this perilously high caloric season of overindulgence and I owe it all to my youngest child. In watching her behavior over the past year I’ve noticed that she tends to eat what she wants and never appears to put on any extra poundage or have her clothing turn into weapons of mass destruction. It took me awhile bu...

I have come to realize that when the weatherman is shooting off weather bulletins every other commercial as breaking news and telling us that snow is imminent, that we will in point of fact receive nary a flake. Except for the flake on the television promising my children snow. It's when they don't warn you that you're gonna get hammered. That's just how it works. Ok, back to work on this .