It's like this...

Fake blood and eerie things that go bump in the night...goblins and ghosts knocking on your door, asking for candy. Halloween is the time of year that brings out gory movies, rubber masks and terrifying Lady Gaga costumes. Those things don't frighten me. Ok, the Lady Gaga thing is unsettling, but she usually doesn't make the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. Usually. I have other things that scare me. Here's the short list, in no particular order: 1. Not graduating from high school--or having to go back and do it again. I have a reoccurring dream in which I've somehow decided to go back to high school and graduate. These dreams do not end well, as I would not exactly blend with the current population of my former school. Then there's the whole I-never-went-to-a-class-and-today-is-the-final-day part of the dream. I do not wake up feeling rested and calm from this dream. 2. Having my youngest daughter suffer more damage from her condition than she...

Some people think I write too much. Or over share when I do write. Some don't think I write enough and others, meh. They simply don't care. I've developed a thick skin over my writing. I wrote newspaper columns for about seven years as a freelance columnist and even had a steady writing gig for two papers for five years. That was both fun and tedious. One effect it had on me was that I didn't look at everyday life in the same way. I was more observant. When something would happen in front of me, my first thought was how to put that to ink. Now, not so much. Except last night when my husband said he'd had the 'best breakfast cupcake that morning' and it took me a while to figure out he was in fact referencing a muffin . I immediately wanted to write about it. It was amusing, spontaneous and downright funny. I'm not sure I have a lot of those experiences lately. When my children were younger, sure. Nearly every day there was a catastrophe t...

Where does the week go? Here's some good news. The bandages are off my right hand. It's been...what....7 weeks since I was in the ER with my hand in agony? All I've got to show for my extremely close encounter with the hot oil is a few scars, some new skin and a mountain of paperwork from L&I. Have I mentioned how much I hate paperwork? Well, I'm mentioning it now. I'm grateful it wasn't worse and it's awfully nice to have the use of my right hand again. What other good news is there... thinking....thinking....thinking....thinking.... There's lots of good news. We're breathing. We have a roof over our heads, good health, the gospel perspective on life and death, and everything else under these cloudy foggy skies of Seattle. Well, the health thing isn't 100%. Alli is home from school today. She texted me from seminary, and I quote, "Mom, my head feels like it's going to explode. I want to go home". Since I am opposed...

Time marches on... This week has been quite busy for me. Getting up around 5:30 each morning to take Allison to seminary, turning around and coming home to get Ashley up and running and then taking her to school. I either go to the gym before I go to work or I head straight to work. Lately I've been going straight to work. So much to do there...and not nearly enough time to do it in. This week has been parent teacher conferences and I've been racing from school to school to Interpret for teachers and parents. I've had meetings and conferences and summits and more meetings. I'm meetinged out. Yes, that's a word. Hush. I've had long chats with the mother of my friend that died...and I had lunch with her brother. My heart aches for them... Perhaps the ache is the realization of my own mortality coming home to roost within me. Or because it's the first of our little tight knit high school group that has died. I'm not sure. I do know that we go on...

I feel I should apologize to you. We've been together for several years and lately I don't seem to have time for you. I know it might sound trite, but it's not you, it's me. Entirely me. And my circle of family and friends and work. They wring me out each day and hang me out to dry each night. You see, I have four children. I worry. I don't sleep. I worry some more. I pray. Sometimes falling to my knees is the only way to gather up enough strength to soldier on in this war---and make no mistake--this is a war. Light and darkness on opposing sides, each tugging for those souls in the middle and neither willing to give an inch. Sometimes I wonder if I'm equipped to lead these particular skirmishes. My training seems inadequate at times, my heart heavy and my head bowed. I keep taking blows, am occasionally knocked down but I always manage to put myself back on my feet because I'm not in this fight alone. Someone is always there to lift me up. ...

And I mean our road trip. I should add it was wonderful as well, though it didn't end the way we'd planned. But what does? Life? No, it doesn't. They say it's not the destination, but the journey and they're right. Our journey began Friday the 13th. For some of us it ended on the 22. For me, it ended on the 26th. We had planned to leave early in the morning on Friday the 13th but even our beginning didn't go as planned. We left at midnight and I drove for six hours while the rest mainly slept until dawn and a nearly empty gas tank caused our first stop. It was a beautiful sunrise, by the way. We landed in the podunk of podunks. I'm not even sure I remember the name of this no-stop-light town with a curmudgeonly store owner who growled at us while his wife used an old adding machine atop a battered, ancient desk. We purchased crushed ice from the man and his wife and then went across the street to have a morning picnic in a small town park. We had to kill ti...

This is my beautiful fourteen year old daughter. She's about about 800 miles away from me. This is very far. Very far indeed. She's attending EFY, which is Especially for Youth with a great many other kids her age. She called me and then sent me a picture of her dorm room. She said she loves it! I'm thrilled that she's so happy. Happy is good. Happy is much better than not happy. I love this child, and will be thrilled to take her in my arms and give her a huge ole hug next Saturday when we pick her up. In the meantime, I've got three other children and a job to keep me occupied, and occupied in a big way. I LOVE what I'm doing. Totally love it. I was given high praise from my boss today, which is just a big ole cherry on top of a delicious ice cream sundae--which I'm not eating but you get the picture. What I'm doing is making a difference and helping people. It's fulfilling and exciting and I get paid nicely to do it. What more could I ...