It's like this...

It’s time once again for the award shows to come pouring out of Hollywood like a tsunami of ooey-gooey-back-patting excess guaranteed to raise your blood sugar level just by watching the promos. ‘I’d like to thank all the little people….without whom….” I’m one of the little people. Ok, not little as far as size goes, but you know, little as in not famous. I’m about as little as they come. No one gives out awards in my category. They don’t even HAVE a category for me, but if they did, I’m sure I could come up with a doozy of an acceptance speech. I’d like to thank the academy for this honor—I know there are better mom’s out there, those who’ve given their kids a Wii, cell phones with unlimited texting and a bazillion gigs of music as well taking their kids on vacations to Hawaii, Disneyland, Disneyworld, the Bahamas and have sold their own blood to get them Hannah Montana concert tickets. They deserve this honor for always stocking their pantries with oodles of food from Cos...

My tongue needs a bandaid. And some burn cream. Perhaps a four hour ice bath would be useful as well. Do they make bandaids for lips? Because I could use a sterile covering over them too. Powerful analgesics, the kind you can only get with a prescription from a doctor, would not be out of the question either. I'd prefer that they be applied directly on my lips, tongue, and oh heck, I'll just gargle with it. You see, tonight I nearly met an untimely death by Chinese food. General Tso's Chicken to be exact. It started out innocently enough. My husband, children and I went out to dinner with my father, my sister and her children, twelve of us altogether. Thankfully there were enough people there to make sure my agony did not go unnoticed. The only thing that would have made it all more bearable would have been if they had managed to catch my writhing on video for later replays at family reunions. I love Chinese food, and I've even eaten General Tso's chicken in the...

I answered the phone at work today. It was one of my homeless contacts. I asked her how she was doing and she said she wasn't doing as obviously well as I was. She said I sounded incredibly upbeat and happy. Oh how I laughed. I told her I had to laugh to keep from crying---not that I intend to cry. Crying doesn't help. Plus, we've been through worse. We had our taxes done a week ago. Apparently a blood sacrifice, along with the donation of several appendages will be required to fulfill our tax debt to Uncle Sam. In our all married life, we've NEVER owed this much money to the government. Hubby got waaaay down but I cheered him up by telling him it was only money. We are all fine (for the most part) and we're healthy, we have each other and life is still wonderful. When our suburban began to act suspiciously possessed, I took it in to the shop for repairs. They said they've never seen anything like what they saw my suburban do. Never in all th...

Change has never been a comfortable thing for me. I cling to the familiar, the regular and the routine. Handling change isn't easy for me. A friend posted on her Facebook wall that she'd signed her little one up for Kindergarten and that was perhaps why she was feeling so blue. I flashed back to putting my first Kindergartner on the school bus. I cried as she flashed me a grin, in her jean skirt, pink shirt, flowered vest and white cowboy boots, long blond hair held back by a black headband... Oh yes, I remember every detail of that morning. I recall hugging and kissing her goodbye at BYU Idaho. I cried then as well. I've never been good at letting go. She's 22 now. I love her more today than the day that I brought her into this world. She amazes me each and every day. I'm so proud of the young woman she's become. Still...it's difficult to let go of being The Mom. It's all I've known for so many years. Kahil Gibran put it so well:...

Between the time it took me to press send on my cell phone and the first ring on my husband's phone, I forgot what it was I was calling him about. Completely forgot. Erased from my gray matter. POOF. Gone. When he answered I told him I couldn't recall why I'd called him but that I knew it was important. I drove home, racking my brain as I went. After I pulled into the driveway and turned off the ignition, I sat there. This whole getting old thing isn't as fun as I thought it would be. I've found myself forgetting if I've lathered, rinsed and repeated. I drive places and realize I've been on autopilot the entire way. I know stress can cause lapses. Lately my life has been the Stress Olympics. I'm also very blessed. Sometimes the glass is half empty, sometimes it's half full and sometimes it's laying shattered in pieces on the floor. We had our taxes done this weekend. Uncle Sam is requiring us to hand over an arm, a leg, ...

This column was published after the devastating 2004 tsunami that struck Indonesia. After the earthquake and tsunami that struck Japan I revisited it. My heart is aching for all those who are suffering, for those who have been lost and for those left behind. More laundry? Man, I spend my entire life doing laundry and dishes for this family. Grrrr…I have so much to do. “…The Red Cross estimates that although the number of dead is now over eighty thousand, the number will be well over a hundred thousand as more victims are found washed up on the shores or under the rubble…” I hate this bed of ours. I wake up every morning with a backache. I just hate it. “…Thousands have lost every material possession they owned when the tsunami struck and are sleeping in the streets or in shelters…” Man, someone dinged my car in the parking lot? I can’t believe people don’t care about things like that, they just open their doors and WHAM! Uncaring jerks. “…My neighbors lost their...

This is a column I wrote a few years ago. No, I haven't matured much since, thanks for asking! It all started with the squid fight at dinner. I didn’t mean to order calamari rings and when they arrived, I thought they were tiny little onion rings. In my defense, onion rings come breaded and deep-fried, so I just assumed the chef was talented and had used itsy-bitsy onions. I knew when I put it into my mouth that I’d made a mistake. I’m not fond of squid. So, sitting at a restaurant with my husband and five children, (four mine, one a loaner for the weekend trip) I chewed little squid rings. Actually, I only chewed one squid ring. Knowing how my family loves onion rings, I very graciously offered up my special onion rings to any and all. Everyone wanted one! Happily, I obliged by passing them around and gleefully waited for the response I knew was coming. I didn’t have long to wait. First there was a look of concern on my son’s face as he chewed. “This doesn’t taste like an o...