It's like this...

This is my foot. This is my foot covered in the sand of Waimea Beach. Sigh. I kidnapped my oldest daughter, nearly-literally, and whisked her away to Hawaii for a about a week. You see, I had no choice. I had to do it. It's a long and sad and complicated story, but the Readers Digest version is this: THERE WILL BE NO WEDDING. Not to that man, at any rate. Family Intervention works. Now, I know there are probably some out there wondering how I managed to afford this spur of the moment kidnapping. You're right, we were struggling mightily for a few months after Lance's accident. You really can't live on disability, but with the help of the church and friends and people who wanted to remain anonymous (You are wonderful and kind and all things good in the universe), we made it through. So thank you from the bottom of our hearts and please don't send us money. Help someone else now. The reason I could do this is because I received a small settlement...