Skip to main content

One Door Closes....

...and another one opens, right?

Sometimes not. Sometimes there is a very hard, enormously large brick wall. No doors. No windows.

I didn't get my job. I say 'my' job, but it wasn't really. I don't believe the powers that be, and that goes all the way to the very top, appreciated my vocal, albeit kindly worded, encouragement of more hours added to the position to care for the homeless students. It took them seven years to realize that the person taking care of these most at risk students should be a full time person, not a three hour a day person. Then they let me go.

I'm incredibly sad. And not entirely sure what to do with this gigantic brick wall facing me.

I'm lost.

Comments

  1. G. Parker3:04 PM

    My dear girl!! You need to go volunteer at the nearest elementary school, or go to the bishops storehouse...something to get you out of your house and away from the thoughts that are crowding in on you. When you serve others, you can forget yourself for a little while, and that includes all the pain and angst that is in your life. :( I'm so sorry you lost your job...there are tons in my school district, but I don't think you want to move to Utah...not with our weather, lol.
    I dropped my youngest child...my BABY! off at Job Corp yesterday. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done, and my hubby and I have both been emotional about it. We are going on faith, as the Bishop and everyone else has said the program has changed, it's clean, it will be good for him, yada yada. I've decided to put my trust in the Lord and let him live his life. He's 20, turning 21 next month, and is so innocent in regards to many things. He idolizes (or did) his oldest brother who went into the Army and totally tossed all our teachings out the window. (He's the divorced and remarried one with a daughter that lives with mom and is entering kindergarten - I know, more info than you need or prob want, lol) So - I'm really glad I went back to work today, so I could possibly not dwell on the idea of what he might be running into. Only to have one of my co-workers remind me that her daughter worked there for over a year and had a kid steal her car keys from her purse while in class and try to take off with her car...they didn't press charges, but she did and they were upset with her. Sigh. It's not a whole lot different than sending him off to school, and he is REALLY close, like 15 min away, so I'm hoping if anything really bad happens he'll call and let us know. I told Heavenly Father last night that He was the one who decided I needed this child, so he was in His hands. That's a real hard thing to do...cut the umbilical cord when I've been doing it all for 20 years. But then, you know that feeling too.
    Anyway...sorry to gab your ears off...or rather, waste your reading time (which in my opinion is pretty precious, lol) Just had to tell someone, as I've managed not to break down in front of anyone but hubby yet. Some days I really wish the second coming were here, ya know? Anyway, hope your eyes are doing better, or that you're finding a way of coping. Perhaps you could listen to conference, or get a book on CD or something...Chris Heimerdinger is awesome to listen to. :)
    Take care...I'm here. (in a nice NON-stalker kind of way... )

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Go ahead....tell me the truth :)

Popular posts from this blog

Ahhhhhh

Ally and I just got back from the gym. I went every day last week and even though it's Spring break for the kids and me this week, I promised myself I wouldn't fall off the wagon. No, not that one. I've fallen off so many times I've got callouses and other assorted damages from hitting the ground. We'll see how this works out this time. One day at a time, right? I can't do more than I can do. Whoa, how profound is that? You're right. Not very. I'm fighting a cold right now---scratchy painful throat, ears that won't unplug and a heavy feeling in my chest that I fear does not bode well for the rest of the week. Not that we're taking a vacation. We'd love to of course, but what with times the way they are and the things we need to get done here, it simply wasn't an option. So what are we doing for our spectacular spring break? I'm glad you asked. We're cleaning! Yes, you heard right. And my kids (Ok, the younger ones at an...
5 comments
Read more

Online Friends

I'm sure you've heard by now that blue is the new black, forty is the new thirty and they're lying through their teeth when they say that last thing. Also, imaginary childhood friends (you know you had one) have been replaced with online friends. They're the same in that no one ever really sees them, but you talk to them, you play with them, your other friends and family think you're just this side of a restraining jacket and you're a lot older than you were when you first had friends you never saw. Sure they're real you might say in that mocking tone you have . Well stop that. Save your mocking for later on when I tell you all about my Internet friends. No, I can't see them, or touch them, although some of them have asked me....um, well, we'll go into that later. People have become friends with other people across the world, sometimes they've become friends with people they'd never become friends with in RL. That means real life for ...
31 comments
Read more

Wheeeeeeee!

Today I was awakened to the not-so-delightful sounds of enormous dump trucks, (you know the ones that are a dump truck and they haul a trailer behind?) dumping truck load after truck load of dirt behind my house. Then the most incredibly noisey and squeaky (do they not grease the tracks on those things??) grader began shoving the dirt and rocks around. I had to fight the urge to throw a can of WD40 over the fence to the driver. It wasn't even eight in the morning. It wasn't even 7:30 yet. So I reluctantly arose from my bed and cleaned up the kitchen. After it was spotless, I went back upstairs to my freeze-zone (the only room in the house with AC) to do some online banking and make calls to check on medical bills, etc. As I was finishing up, in walks my husband! At first I had a moment of Oh-no-he's-lost-his-job terror. Then it passed after he smiled. Seems they ran out of work for the day. Odd, but then that's Boeing. So hubby was roped into going school cloth...
19 comments
Read more