Skip to main content

The Talk

Sixteen years ago today, I was sliced open in order to have The Boy removed from my womb, as he refused to leave on his own.

Happy Birthday Chris!!



Since today is such an auspicious day, I thought it a good idea to take advantage of our alone time during the drive to school this morning.

Me: "Chris, happy birthday sweetheart"

Chris: "Thanks Madre"

Me: "Chris, now that you're sixteen, I think it's time for The Talk"

Chris: "Uh, I don't think so mom"

Me: "Yes son, It's time. Now, you're going to start noticing some changes in..."

Chris: "MOM!"

Me: "..your body. Don't be worried, it's all just a natural part of.."

Chris; "MOM!"

Me: "...getting older. Now you will begin to notice that girls are different from you...."

Chris: (laughing) "You're not funny, Mom!"

Me: "there's nothing funny about this Chris. Is there any questions you would like to ask me"

Chris: "Uh, no, mom. I'm good"

Oooooh the joys of having a son with a sense of humor. :grin:

Comments

  1. jromer11:08 AM

    when i was seventeen my mother handed me a carefully removed dear abby colum where the person writing abby wrote about how she wished more parents told their children about sex. abby listed a few books readers could give their children. my mother pushed the colum to me after breakfast and said, read that and if you need me to get the book for you, i will.
    i said, 'ah, no. i'm good. thanks.'
    she burst into tears.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Vicus Scurra11:39 AM

    No good. No good at all. You have to do this in public, preferably in front of his girlfriends.
    Ain't I taught you anything?

    ReplyDelete
  3. jromer4:49 PM

    oh yeah, its not all about me is it? happy birthday Chris!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous9:15 AM

    he knows he's good already and only 16 - this is a good thing?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sketchy4:15 PM

    Oooh I am saving this idea for future use in about 7 years! LOL

    ReplyDelete
  6. G. Parker6:52 AM

    What a hoot. Mine is turning 17 on Friday...sigh. Where does the time go??? I have to laugh...my hubby got to explain it to the GIRLS. He said the boys are my job, but they already seem to know too...lol

    ReplyDelete
  7. FirstNations8:02 AM

    that's diabolical!
    good one! and happy birthday chris!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Cazzie!!!9:31 PM

    PMSL, you are the same as me, always trying to learn the kids a thing or two and then ya find out they know it all before we get to it!! Gahh, they grow up fast.
    Happy Birthday Chris :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Carmenzta12:41 PM

    When I was 12, EONS AGO, my mom handed me a book that explained all the male/female parts and what they did and how babies were conceived, etc. I read it and said "Yuck" and didn't worry about those things for another 4 or five years (yeah, I was slow). It's difficult being a parent and wanting to be able to pass on all the knowledge and experience and not being able to actually express these things to your son or daughter. But, just like we did, they have to make their own way... Happy Birthday, Chris!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Go ahead....tell me the truth :)

Popular posts from this blog

Online Friends

I'm sure you've heard by now that blue is the new black, forty is the new thirty and they're lying through their teeth when they say that last thing. Also, imaginary childhood friends (you know you had one) have been replaced with online friends. They're the same in that no one ever really sees them, but you talk to them, you play with them, your other friends and family think you're just this side of a restraining jacket and you're a lot older than you were when you first had friends you never saw. Sure they're real you might say in that mocking tone you have . Well stop that. Save your mocking for later on when I tell you all about my Internet friends. No, I can't see them, or touch them, although some of them have asked me....um, well, we'll go into that later. People have become friends with other people across the world, sometimes they've become friends with people they'd never become friends with in RL. That means real life for ...
31 comments
Read more

The Boy

Will Soon Be Graduating From High School This means, in some small measure, I have successfully managed to get him through 12 years of school and to the age of 18 alive. No small accomplishment, that. Today he called for a ride home after he rode the bus most of the way to our house. As it was about 90 degrees outside, I obliged. I'm a good mom, plus it got me out of a very hot house and into the sweet deliciousness of my air conditioned vehicle. My oldest and youngest daughters went along for the ride and they spotted The Boy before I did. "What's up with his pants?" Indeed. The operative word for his pants was up . He wears those extremely skinny jeans and he'd rolled them up to about knee level and he was walking towards us with a grimace on his face. He was in pain. You see, five hours earlier, in the throes of near heat exhaustion, he rolled the legs of his pants up and then his legs swelled up. He was unable to remove his own pants or roll down what he...
20 comments
Read more

Wheeeeeeee!

Today I was awakened to the not-so-delightful sounds of enormous dump trucks, (you know the ones that are a dump truck and they haul a trailer behind?) dumping truck load after truck load of dirt behind my house. Then the most incredibly noisey and squeaky (do they not grease the tracks on those things??) grader began shoving the dirt and rocks around. I had to fight the urge to throw a can of WD40 over the fence to the driver. It wasn't even eight in the morning. It wasn't even 7:30 yet. So I reluctantly arose from my bed and cleaned up the kitchen. After it was spotless, I went back upstairs to my freeze-zone (the only room in the house with AC) to do some online banking and make calls to check on medical bills, etc. As I was finishing up, in walks my husband! At first I had a moment of Oh-no-he's-lost-his-job terror. Then it passed after he smiled. Seems they ran out of work for the day. Odd, but then that's Boeing. So hubby was roped into going school cloth...
19 comments
Read more