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Sex, Drugs and rock and roll....

Ok, it's more about the drugs than the sex or the rock and roll. Drugs, lots and lots of drugs.

I'm on them now, even as I type. You see, on Friday I had a bit of oral surgery. I'd like to tell you all about it in gory detail, but I was unconscious at the time. They gave me a valium the size of Montana, then stuck a needle in my arm and that was it. Boom. Buh-Bye land. I woke up to someone bothering me.

Nurse: "Open your eyes, Pamela!"

Me: "mmmmm....uh....huh...." (eyes firmly shut)

Nurse: "C'mon Pam, it's time to wake up!"

Me: "mmm...ok...."(eyes still closed)

Nurse: "Pam, you really need to open your eyes now hon!"

Me: "I....can't....."


Apparently during the operation, someone had put two large blocks of concrete on my eyelids and superglued them in place. Since I wasn't WonderWoman, I was unable to muster the strength to lift my eyelids. It was an impossible task.

She finally got me up and made me walk, but I was doing so with my eyes closed. She walked me to where Lance was waiting to take me home. I don't recall the drive either.

I'm at home, resting and recovering. I had something ugly happen to a tooth that had previously had a root canal. Bad buggy infection climbed in, took up residence and then proceeded to grow clear up into my upper gum, jaw, cheek... Oh yeah. Fun city.

I'll be good to go in a day or two. I just need to get off the drugs. I'm Queen Woozy.

Ah yes, better living through pharmecueticals

Comments

  1. and just think so many people actually pay some sleazy ball dealer to feel that way......

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  2. Can't spot the difference myself. Sounds just like your normal rock-star-life-style-hallucinogen-fueled nonsense to me.

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  3. feel better soon...(not that you don't now..!)

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  4. Have you opened your eyes yet? If not, good touch-typing!

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  5. Don't climb any trees, will you.

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  6. I rarely get the chance to invoke the depth and wisdom of Alice Cooper lyrics but his song 'Unfinished Sweet' is the ultimate Dental Rock n Roll song!

    "Candy everywhere, got chocolate in my hair
    Aching to get me
    Stickly sweet suckers in the Halloween air
    Aching to get me
    Saint Vitus dance on my molars tonight
    Aching to get me
    Aching to get me, get me oh...

    Take it to the doc, I guess he ought to know
    La, la, la, da
    Which ones can stay, which one gotta go
    He looks in my mouth and then he starts to gloat
    HE SAYS MY TEETH ARE OK
    BUT MY GUMS GOTTA GO!
    Oh oh...

    I come off the gas but I'm still seeing spies
    Aching to get me
    I can see them all through a glassy pair of eyes
    Aching to get me
    De Sade's gonna live in my mouth tonight
    La, da, da, da, da
    And the rotten tooth fairy is satisfied
    La, da, da, da, da
    Aching to get me, get me oh...

    What did I tell ya?

    ReplyDelete
  7. OK it's Wednesday - have you come round yet?

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  8. you make this sound like it's a bad thing!

    ps-my sympathies on the easter debacle. may the perp rot in jail!

    ReplyDelete

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