It's like this...

Sixteen years ago today, I was sliced open in order to have The Boy removed from my womb, as he refused to leave on his own. Happy Birthday Chris!! Since today is such an auspicious day, I thought it a good idea to take advantage of our alone time during the drive to school this morning. Me: "Chris, happy birthday sweetheart" Chris: "Thanks Madre" Me: "Chris, now that you're sixteen, I think it's time for The Talk" Chris: "Uh, I don't think so mom" Me: "Yes son, It's time. Now, you're going to start noticing some changes in..." Chris: "MOM!" Me: "..your body. Don't be worried, it's all just a natural part of.." Chris; "MOM!" Me: "...getting older. Now you will begin to notice that girls are different from you...." Chris: (laughing) "You're not funny, Mom!" Me: "there's nothing funny about this Chris. Is there any questions you would ...

Ok, it's more about the drugs than the sex or the rock and roll. Drugs, lots and lots of drugs. I'm on them now, even as I type. You see, on Friday I had a bit of oral surgery. I'd like to tell you all about it in gory detail, but I was unconscious at the time. They gave me a valium the size of Montana, then stuck a needle in my arm and that was it. Boom. Buh-Bye land. I woke up to someone bothering me. Nurse: "Open your eyes, Pamela!" Me: "mmmmm....uh....huh...." (eyes firmly shut) Nurse: "C'mon Pam, it's time to wake up!" Me: "mmm...ok...."(eyes still closed) Nurse: "Pam, you really need to open your eyes now hon!" Me: "I....can't....." Apparently during the operation, someone had put two large blocks of concrete on my eyelids and superglued them in place. Since I wasn't WonderWoman, I was unable to muster the strength to lift my eyelids. It was an impossible task. She finally got ...

I prepared for our Easter celebration by spending most of the day Saturday in kitchen cooking and baking. I made a potato salad, a broccoli salad, jello, a glaze for the ham, then decided I needed to bake orange rolls. Lance's aunt Maribel, who passed from cancer several years ago, was the Orange Roll maker extraordinaire in our family. I'd never even tried to make them before, but I suddenly wanted her orange rolls. So I made a double batch. And they turned out quite well. On Sunday we got up early to enjoy what the Easter bunny had left us. Each year he brings new dresses for the girls. He's learned not to bring clothes for The Teenagers. The girls loved their dresses. We all dressed and went to Seatttle to go to church with my sister and her family and my father. While we were inside at the service, someone broke into our suburban and robbed us. They took The Teenager's Ipod that we gave her for her 18th birthday in January, about 20 cds and my little girl...

And as of today, it looks like this.... And this....

After our wonderful day at the park yesterday, we went to pick up Stephanie after her first day on the job at See's Candies . Naturally, we went into the shop to bother her and pretend to be customers. I was complaining about how slow she was when one of her co-workers came to her rescue, giving me a look. I started laughing and explained I was her mother. Then of course I had to snap some pictures of her in her snazzy uniform. I can see we're going to have problems with her working there. HUGE problems. Me + chocolate = OH MY GOODNESS!! I found a brand new favorite and it's called Key Lime Truffles. It's like heaven in your mouth. Sooooooo yummy. So did we buy some candy? You bet we did. I see a pattern developing here. After Stephanie rang me up, I spoke to her manager. Me: I'd like to complain about the service here. (she didn't yet know I was her mom) Manager: what's the problem? Me: (holding up the bag I'd just purchased) She made me...

Normally it's a good thing to be wary of germs, and I applaud all instances of microbial warfare in all it's forms. Except when it happens to go wrong....oh so very wrong as it did the other day in the bathroom at our local YMCA. I swim every morning. I mean I try to swim every morning. Ok, it's more of a water aerobics class than actual swimming, but it's still in the water and I'm flailing around, so lets call it swimming. After the swimming I'm pretty wet and tend to smell of chlorine, so I shower. Being the modest person that I am, I can't and won't walk around nekkid in the dressing room like some of the other gym patrons do. I've simply not got the .....whatever it is that passes for female cojones to do so. Not like my aerobics teacher who held a conversation with me while I was fully clothed and she was not. Who was, in point of fact, as naked as the day she was born. I was trying very hard to keep looking her in the eye and wishing...

Today Hubby and I took the two girls on a visit to various car lots, without success in locating something we were searching for. While out, our son Christopher texted us from the nearby mall, asking us if we would pick him up and take him to get a haircut. It's a wonder my airbag didn't explode from that shock. So we picked him up, plus his two friends he forgot to mention, and drove south towards home. First we had to stop at the dollar store so the girls and Lance could go pick out some treasures. I waited in the suburban with the boys. Three boys. Two sophmores, one junior. Their conversation made me wonder if they even remembered I was sitting in the front seat. Oy Vay. Boy#1: " Blank girl is cute" Boy#2: "She's got small boobs Boy #1 "Yeah, but she's got boobs! Me: "Hey, I'm here you know! I can't believe you boys are talking like that!" Boy#1: You should hear how we talk when you're not around" I shudder t...