Skip to main content

You Made Me a Mom

This is the 12th Mother's Day without my mom. I miss her very much and as most children, I probably didn't appreciate her and the sacrifices she made for her children as much as I should have while she was here on this earth. I always treated her with respect, she knew I loved her and I cared for her in the last few months of her life. I've learned a lot about mother hood since her death.

This is a picture of her holding my last baby. She held Ashley Rose before I did, because I'd had a crash c-section to save Ashley's life. I never actually saw my baby for two days. Mom never let me forget that she held her first. It's not a great picture of my mom because she'd been crying an awful lot that night, not knowing if the baby or I would survive.



My mom was and is beautiful.



She taught ME how to a be mom. But the baby below is the one who made me a mom for the very first time. Stephanie Ann.



You were the light and the life in my world. My day, my night, my forever. My heart grew in size the moment I saw you. I've never been the same since that day in January 1989. Carol Lynn Pearson put it best in her poem, My Day Old Child.

"My day old child"

My day old child in my arms
with my lips against his ear
I whispered strongly "How I wish,
I wish that you could hear,

"I've a hundred wonderful things to say
(A tiny cough and nod)
Hurry, hurry, hurry and grow
so I can tell you about God."

My day old baby's mouth was still
and my words only tickled his ear,
but a kind of light passed through his eyes,
and I saw this thought appear,

"How I wish I had a voice and words,
I've a hundred things to say,
Before I forget, I'd tell you of God,
I left Him yesterday."


So fresh from heaven. Perfect, miraculous and the most amazing being I'd ever had the honor of loving day and night.

Carol Lynn Pearson also spoke the words from my heart in her poem,

Mother To Child
Look --
Your little fist
Fits mine
Like the pit
In a plum.

One day
And one size,
These two hands will
Clasp companionably.

Help me, child
Forgive me
When I fail you.
I'm your mother,
True,
But in the end
Merely an older equal
Doing her faltering best
For a dear
Small friend.



Thank you for being my baby girl. For allowing me the experience to be a mom for the first time. Now that you are mom to Enzo, I hope you know that all the feelings you have running through you for your young son, were also coursing through my heart when I had you. My baby girl.

Happy first Mother's Day, baby girl. I love you.

Comments

Post a Comment

Go ahead....tell me the truth :)

Popular posts from this blog

Healing

As I've been reading Conference Talks, I was touched by one by Elder Neil L. Anderson. He spoke of healing. Not in a physical sense, although that is also within the purview of the Lord, but about spiritual healing. When we've done something wrong, and everyone has, we should rightly feel guilt. Sometimes we feel shame. Some say that these feelings are not valid, they are bad and unproductive, and I agree in part. Those feelings are horrible, but they are not unproductive if they lead you to real repentance and a change for the better in your life. We are counseled to come unto Christ, so that He may heal us. There is no sin that cannot be forgiven. There is no wrong that cannot, in the end and with proper steps taken, that cannot be wiped clean. I'm grateful for this promise--because the world needs peace and I need mercy. (That's another quote from one of the apostles). I'm so grateful for so many things--not the least of which is the opportunity to ...
1 comment
Read more

Ahhhhhh

Ally and I just got back from the gym. I went every day last week and even though it's Spring break for the kids and me this week, I promised myself I wouldn't fall off the wagon. No, not that one. I've fallen off so many times I've got callouses and other assorted damages from hitting the ground. We'll see how this works out this time. One day at a time, right? I can't do more than I can do. Whoa, how profound is that? You're right. Not very. I'm fighting a cold right now---scratchy painful throat, ears that won't unplug and a heavy feeling in my chest that I fear does not bode well for the rest of the week. Not that we're taking a vacation. We'd love to of course, but what with times the way they are and the things we need to get done here, it simply wasn't an option. So what are we doing for our spectacular spring break? I'm glad you asked. We're cleaning! Yes, you heard right. And my kids (Ok, the younger ones at an...
5 comments
Read more

Wheeeeeeee!

Today I was awakened to the not-so-delightful sounds of enormous dump trucks, (you know the ones that are a dump truck and they haul a trailer behind?) dumping truck load after truck load of dirt behind my house. Then the most incredibly noisey and squeaky (do they not grease the tracks on those things??) grader began shoving the dirt and rocks around. I had to fight the urge to throw a can of WD40 over the fence to the driver. It wasn't even eight in the morning. It wasn't even 7:30 yet. So I reluctantly arose from my bed and cleaned up the kitchen. After it was spotless, I went back upstairs to my freeze-zone (the only room in the house with AC) to do some online banking and make calls to check on medical bills, etc. As I was finishing up, in walks my husband! At first I had a moment of Oh-no-he's-lost-his-job terror. Then it passed after he smiled. Seems they ran out of work for the day. Odd, but then that's Boeing. So hubby was roped into going school cloth...
19 comments
Read more