It's like this...

As I've stated before, I have a condition called, "Cries At The Drop of a Hat" Or, CATDOAH. Sounds like a country dance, doesn't it? "All right everybody! Grab yer partner tight and CATDOAH!" Sadly, my condition is not that fun. I received a note in the mail that made my CATDOAH break out and break out BAD. Or good, depending on your POV. That's 'point of view' for those who say IDK. Which means, 'I don't know'. Yeah, I know. I try to keep up on all the cool teen-speak. I might just have a handle on it by the time they've all grown and left the nest. Then it will be PLUDHK! (Party Like You Don't Have Kids), but we do and so we don't. Party, I mean. It's been a long time. Sigh Anyway, back to the CATDOAH caused by this card from a sister in my ward. In the first place, I'm pretty sure I didn't deserve what she said. Oh, it was nice. Very nice. Nice in the extreme and very complimentary...

My baby turned 14 on Saturday. Fourteen. Four-teen. Wow. I know the next statement should be the age old question, "how did this happen?". Wasn't it just yesterday they were telling me my baby was dying and racing me into the operating room to crash me and rip her from my body in order to save her life. A hasty priesthood blessing and the assurance that all would be well and I was rendered unconscious. And all was well. IS well, after a manner of speaking. While her disability is evident to some, it isn't to others. She compensates well. Very well. Sometimes---just sometimes---I get a little catch in my heart when I see her right hand all twisted and bent, or watch her gait as she walks---but walk she does. No wheelchair or walker needed, thankyouverymuch. But sometimes.....just....sometimes.....and I never ever let her see my tears over her physical disabilities. Who knew motherhood could be so tender and full of anguish and hopeful all at the sam...

Waiting Patiently on the Lord Am I enduring well Lord Am I Sometimes it's hard to tell I'm not crying as much is that progress I don't know My heart is lighter wings of prayer lifting me up lighting my way Am I enduring well Lord Am I Is chasing the painful thought away and out is that enduring well? If I don't see her face in my heart Is that enduring well I believe I said yes to this Only I don't remember Would I have If I'd known the heartache the pain the burning tears and the sleepless nights Would I have been so eager Yes, Lord I'll take this child Give her to me No one will understand her I will Will I? Am I enduring well Lord Am I I'm weary with worry Who will love her Who will love him Who is this child, Lord Am I enduring well Lord Am I Am I

This weekend was, for me, a mixed bag. On the one hand, I was lifted and spiritually fed by listening to General Conference from Salt Lake City. Words of counsel, of wisdom and of hope, from our beloved Apostles and Prophet. Good men all. And on the other hand, the voting in Venezuela went awry---probably with the help of Chavez and his minions. He has done such damage to my beloved Venezuela. My heart weeps for my friends there. I pray there is no violence. It's bad enough as it is to live there and suffer one of the highest murder rates in the world. You cannot walk the streets without fear of robbery or worse. It's a very sad day for Venezuela. Tomorrow I will make arepas and Platanos fritos and carraotas negras and pray that Venezuela will one day be free.

Last night was Family Home Evening at our house. This is a Monday night thing---we get together as a family. We sing songs, have a lesson, talk about the week and share scriptures. Sometimes we have a game, but not generally. Last night, my Allison gave the lesson. It was on gratitude. I'm pretty sure she didn't read my last blog post, so this was awesome in and of itself. She gave a beautiful lesson and then asked each one of us to name five things were were grateful for. There were the usual, 'grateful for my family' etc, but two things stood out to me. When Ashley was naming the five things she was most thankful for---she said, "I'm grateful for my disability. It's made me the person I'm supposed to be." I got all teary eyed. (For those of you that don't know, she had a stroke in the womb and has cerebral palsy on her right side). Isn't it wonderful that a catastrophic event that still at times brings pain to the heart ...